Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Mel you really are such a help to me, strange not knowing you but feel i do and i want you to know that im always there for whenever!! now got a picture in my head of all the fireman (instead of in uniform all dresed in red underwear) when i see them all tomorrow thats what il be thinking (that sounds so perverse!!!) Hope you and Daryll and your son and daughter have a good weekend, speak soon and love to all of you Teresa XXXXXXX
hi teresa, i'm glad to be of help anytime!! and please try not to giggle too much tomorrow when you see the firemen or people may think you've gone slightly mad!!! lol last thing you want is to be dragged off by the men in the white coats! lol you take care hun i'm here for you always and thinking of you too. love (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) and fruit pastilles mel xxx
Mel, if you dont lift me up you make me laugh!! I will actually be thinking of you tomorrow when i see all the fireman (and try to stifle my giggles!!) then to top it all Angie will go into labour, love and leave you now as decided to go and see dad (i must be mad and i think when i get down there i will turn away having lost my bottle) love, hugs and loads of fruit pastilles Teresa XXXX
Not posted to you before but have been reading some of your threads, youve made me cry but you have also made me laugh out loud - a lot !! Hope you and Darryl are having a good day and hope you sleep well tonight, Thanks again for the laughs Mel i think you are a very funny lady even when things are tough for you both
hello Kate, it's so nice to hear from new people, and you're welcome here anytime! i'm glad iv'e made you laugh and hope i have other people too, as thats what gets us through the bad times, is our ability to laugh against all adversarys!! I'm sorry iv'e made you cry though but hope you understand that we all have dark days don't we? Darryl is doing really well at the moment, we go to see his onco next tuesday 26th and then last chemo on the 28th. Not sure whats happening after that yet as we haven't been told, but radiotherapy has been mentioned. I hope you and your family are well? if you ever want a chat or cheering up then please feel free to message me anytime and i'll be here for you. As i say to everyone else you have a new friend now so don't ever feel that you are alone!! (i'm very hard to get rid of and even harder to offend so please feel free to say anything you like!!) lol. You take care and i hope you're having a good day love hugs and fruit pastilles( iv'e been converted from jelly tots by teresa) lol love mel xxxx
hi sheila, good to hear from you again, and really pleased that Howard is resting well and more comfortable. It makes you feel better too when they aren't in pain and resting well doesn't it? Darryl see's his onco next tues 26th and has his last chemo next thurs 28th,. The injections have gone well and have to give darryl his last one today until he has his next lot of chemo, then have to do them again from day 7-14 post chemo. We're not sure what is happening to darryl regarding his treatment, but his onco has said something about radiotherapy, so hopefully know more next tuesday when we see him. i hope you are well and not too tired? iv'e given up stressing about not sleeping just accepted it now as par for the course! lol well you take care and hope the sun shines again soon for the sake of your tan! lol love hugs and fruit pastilles ( been converted from jelly tots by teresa) lol hope to hear from you soon love mel xxx
hello everyone who is still awake!! well here i am again at 4.13am having slept for my regular 4 hrs! if anyone is about and wants a chat i am here????????? Hopefully you are all tucked up in bed and i'm just talking to myself though. It's fun sometimes talking to this computor as at least it doesn't answer back, unlike the kids!! lol i can even sing and no one can hear my awful voice lol de dum de dee a diddly dum de day!!! maybe i'm going mad, maybe after all this time iv'e finally lost it????????? maybe get carted off by the men in the white coats later!! oh what joy lol well just wanted to say i'm here and if there is life out there maybe you could tell me as i'm so alone!!!!!!! take care everyone i promise not to be mad if you reply love hugs and fruit pastilles mel xxx p.s gonna go see what mischief i can get up to now!!! lol
Nice to see someone is as crazy as me Mel. I am usually awake from about 3 or 4 am but today I have just woke at 6.45. I am totally disorientated. Its actually light outside..
good morning charles! glad you slept well and hope you feel all refreshed for that? It's so nice to hear from you again and how are you on this very cold morning? Darryl continues to do well, and we have an appointment to see his onco next tues 26th and he has his last chemo next thurs 28th. Not sure what is going to happen after that as we haven't been told yet, but radiotherapy has been mentioned. I'm so glad you replied to me to stop me singing as the neighbours have been banging on the wall!! not sure why though and wish they would bang in time with my singing!! lol. well my little chicken so good to hear from you. Take care my friend love and hugs mel xxx
