Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hi all anyone about? teresa just back from party all my work colleagues soo nice, couldnt smuggle a puppy my handbag not big enough, but im in love they soo cute, probably got puppy poo all over my party frock,but who cares xx Shell you ok? xx
hey chickie shezie Glad you had a lovely time. shame about the pup though eh? lol Should have taken a back pack with you! hahaha Hows your dad doing today a little more comfy i hope? Daz and i went for a little walk in the country today he feels so much better now chemo coming out of his system and has eaten brekkie and soup for dinner tonight so thats better too! Hope you're coping ok too babe? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi melly, glad you and Daz got out today, the wonders of fresh air!, dad much the same, not seen my work mates for a while, they all very kind, but you could see them thinkin thank god its not me! My dog very jealous, can smell pups on me xx
hey chickie shezie It's a shame you can't get together with your work mates more often isn't it? It does you good to get out for a while you need time for you too sweet trust me i know how tireing it can be being a carer iv'e looked after daz for 11 months now and you feel so alone and isolated sometimes don't you? Your dog is gonna be so jealous of you with the smell of all those pups! lol Funny how they know when you've been in contact with others essien is the same if i see my sisters little bischon frise. He goes mad and don't leave me alone, mind they are pals and get to see each other quits often. I'm sorry there's no improvement in your dad bless him Did you get the post about me saying about him maybe making a model of some sort or is that not really possible for him? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dad likes being active, not that long ago he was doin my garden, he hates to feel useless, he is very good with his hands but wont contemplate just sittin and doin somethin just for the sake of it. .The doc tellin him he may not drive again, and to get a gardner didnt do him much good, however he has done bits in his garden and is determined to drive, i feel yup, do wot you feel you can and go against the doc. Did me good gettin out, then you come back to reality! the vodka is helpin a bit!!!! xx
hey chickie shezie I understand your dad wanting to be active bless him daz is the same gets so frustrated that he can't do all he used to. I think it's harder for men to cope with especially if they are usually so active and then they feel so useless. Daz still drives and hes ok i drive when he feels tired but otherwise if he's up to it i think why not. If your dad feels safe and able to drive then i see no reason why he shouldn't I know daz onco just said that if there was an accident then cos daz is on morphine for his pain then the other parties insurance company could use that as an excuse for the accident so i think thats why it's discouraged. What do the medics want these men to do sit indoors twiddling there thumbs all day!! I always go in the car with daz then if he gets tired i take over but i think they need their independence for as long as possible really I also know what it's like to get out and just chat about normal things for a while you don't exactally forget things at home but just a change of conversation and a bit of normality does you good and yes it is then back to reality. Like living two lives eh? lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dad has a camper van, which is his pride and joy, bought for his retirement so him and mum could just take of wen they like, trouble is mum wont drive it, so noone to take over if need b. but wots the worst that can happen? he gets tired, so they park up, Wen they went away one time. thats how i got the chickens,dad brought them over to mine.Their nieghbour, who used to look after them, was asked where the hens were and he told people mum and dad took them on hols with them!! xx
hey chickie shezie Hahahaha that made me laugh!! Can imagine your mum and dad driving along the rd with a camper van full of chickens!! lol He sounds like he has a wicked sense of humour bless him. What the heck as you say whats the worste that can happen he has a kip in the van so go for it i say! Hows my hen today still being a bossy chickie? We was gonna get chickens once but got 4 cats and was worried they would get at them. Are they hard to keep and look after? How many do you have? Have you had them long? I expect me fresh eggs sent to me now you know that don't you? lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Melly hen doin ok,got 6 hens and one cock! soo easy to look after,i got 3 cats they used to em and leave them alone, dont fancy there chances with foghorn, he look after his girls!! nothin better than thier eggs, cant stand the wishy,washy crap in supermarkets! Ever thought that an egg is really a chickens period? how m,any did you say you wanted?!!! xx
hey chickie shezie OH god you just put me off eggs for life now! lol Never thought of them like that before! You naughty chickie We was gonna have about 6 hens too but can't now as daz being ill etc i probably wouldn't be able to look after them properly. I'd like some eggs though where do you live? lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
