Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey dear MHM... I thought it was you that had knocked me off!! think we need to talk...can't we share him and when the other has him we can share Beckham too though it'll be long distance? seems like a fair swap eh? xxxxxxx
yea i remember the St Trinians, they were great what fun they had well most of the time still love watching the films if they come on tv brilliant...................... knee high socks and not much more glad i didnt have to wear a hat would have used it for a frizbe lol. been a busy hectic day but it has kept me busy and mind off things i dont want to think about at the moment CTSSFBMM (right click copy move to wear you want to put it and paste ) lol easy solution for you it does make me smile when i read it i go yea T got it right then realise no she hasnt giggle away haope you have get some sleep im going to try in a while got to be up early kids dad coming for the first time since march so i have got to make sure im not about when he turns up or i wont be held responsible for my actions hehe oh might just stay here for the fun of it his face will be a picture.love and big hugs xxxxxxxxxxx
Twin Sis MHM yes im glad i did it know actually proud of myself i did think cheeky cow when she phoned but after thought wow i did it then i started to play about with my car and thought better of it lol i would love to play with an engine (that sounds wrong dont it sorry) i can do basic things like you must start teaching self lol and i am so pleased that i havent heard from it keep turning my phone of so he cant get me thats mad isnt it oh well will deal with what ever he throws next
love and hugs Chickie Twin Sis Sue Flat Butty Mophead Madwomanxxxxx
hey my chickie twin sis sue flat butty mophead madwoman So glad you sorted the car but don't go fiddling with things that work ok or i'll have to start calling you fiddling fanny!! lol Mind that will please chickie teresa as will be a shorter name! lol I know if a starter motor gets stuck on a car if you get two people to rock the car from side to side and someone turns the key in the ignigtion it starts!! Just a little tip incase it happens anytime. as it has happened to me on other cars before. I think you're doing the right thing keeping your phone off for a while it may get fed up trying then. I'm here if yo need me though ok will have to go up the wooden hill now or i won't be up in the morn! lol Actually it is the morn! Speak to you again soon love and hugs twin sis MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Chickies teresa, shezie and Paul I'm going up the ol woooden hill now to bedfordshire so will catch up with you all again soon I hope you all have a peaceful rest of the night and try to get some kip an thats an order from bossy MHM!!!! lol Night night chickies Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
everyone my alarm will be going off soon so better try and get some shut eye catch up with you all soon take my love to you all hope the weekend is good to everyone will be thinking of you allxxxxx
Chickie Twin Sis Sue Flat Butty Mophead Madwomanxxxxx go girl..I managed to copy and paste!! so no excuse now I'll get it right from now lol!! Don't take any crap today/tomorrow, I'm exactly the same as you with Michaela's dad..you either stand tall or keep out of the way, I usually do the latter as like you I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions!! If I was estranged from Michaela and she lived with him and his wife and half brother and sister, going through what she is, I would ring her daily to see how she was doing and feeling...does he? NO!! much love and hugs T xxxxxxx
mellymoo a got thick skin an you right half then pissed 7 days a week and others stoned and junked up but a work 48 hour and a couldnt aford to do that ha ha just jelous he he he h u see zombie folm the other night an the mall well a got that in the flats ha ha o its not that bad but we dont say it quiet till were on our way home as sure a s.... somthing kicks off ye the days are great all the tennant want a rant they come to us repairs yip need a fag or help with the widest rande of things some of the requests are outragous can you come and read my meter . is the van there isthat elvis at my front door hehehehehehehe xxxxpaul
everyone my alarm will be going off soon so better try and get some shut eye 
