Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
I hope you have a restful night and hope to speak to you again very soon. Take care. Think i'll have a look around to see if anyone needs a chat. Nite Nite love and hugs mother hen mel xxx
sorry about your shopping trip, but at least our duracell bunny has been having a good rest, glad she isnt feeling too bad bless her. hope your ok too honey. i will be thinking about you on monday, and especially on tues with the chemo which is always such a worryi isnt it mate as you dont know how she will be after having it do you? hope the side effects wont be too bad for her this time.
oh kate, i cant believe the horrible news about your brother, as mel said it could turn out to be not so bad, i'm keeping everything crossed that the news will be good, i cant believe all this sad news its terrible. you try and stay positive about everything ok mate? we are all here right beside you sweetie.
still feel yuck, got a sinus infection (stupid bloody thing), on antibiotics, it will soon go. its nothing to what any of you are going through.
anyway my sweet, you take care, and love to duracell bunny, your dad and your brother, i am thinking about you all as always lots of love and hugs, chickie karen xxx
so glad our michaela is still in good spirits bless her, hope you had a good visit this evening, she has had so many visitors which is lovely isnt it? but she must be feeling so tired, hope she is able to sleep in hospital ok.
you must be shattered and exhausted with all the worry mate, we are all right beside you sweetie, and hope next week brings you some good news.
hope you are resting and having a good nights sleep
speak very soon mate, sending tons and tons of love and hugs to you both love chickie karen xxx
Hey Mamma Hen Mellymoo You still about? Honestly you are gonna think im a bit weird if i carry on praisieng you, but I feel like ive eaten ready-brek when your around, you know a big warm glow? read what you said to new chickie moomy and it was so gorgeous, so sweet, also loved it when she said she felt cared for being under your wing, i feel the same, just want you to know you are sooo cared for too xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hope your feeling bit better hunni, and glad darryl is feeling ok.
glad youv'e had a restful day after all that decorating, you must be shattered, hope you get a good nights sleep, and have lovely dreams of them firemen and there big hoses lol
anyway mate, hope you have a nice day tomorrow, speak very soon sending loads a love and hugs chickie karen xxx
I'm so sorry you are feeling ill and that the terrible lurgie hasn't left you yet! so watching over you the other nite to make it go away never worked eh? I will have to try harder for you tonight!
I expect you haven't been on anymore training then as you have been poorly? will you be able to start it again when you feel better?
Please don't say that your feeling poorly is not important because it is to me and i'm sure it is to the chickies too! We all have times when we're poorly and need a shoulder to lean on regardless of how bad or big it is, so i'm lending you mine ok? You lean on me whenever you feel like it sweetheart!
Hoping you feel better tom. Have you tried a teaspoon of vicks in a bowl of boiling hot water for your sinus trouble? you sit with the bowl on your lap or on a low table then put a towel over your head to inhale the fumes. It makes your eyes water but does work. Daley said it's the best thing for him when he has sinus trouble and that all the tabs he tried for it seemed to make it feel worse, loke sinutab etc.
you take care sweetie love and hugs mother hen mel xxxx
You're so sweet you make me cry!!! lol not really crying but you are very kind
I'm very much a people person and care about everyone so saying what i say just comes naturally! lol I think what it is i had such a very bad childhood which i won't go into detail about that it has made me such a strong caring person.
Thats what i mean when i say out of bad things comes some good!!
If i never had the childhood i did i would probably be a totally different person to what i am now. I don't look back with hurt sadness or hate anymore, i'm pleased it turned me into the kind caring person i am today!!
See i was a born fighter and will fight all the way for any of my friends and little chickies, cos you all make me feel proud to know you all and even though we have all only been together as friends a short time i feel we all bonded straight away and feel iv'e known you all for years!
I don't think any of you really know how much i do genuinely care and love you all, but i do truly from the bottom of my heart.
Getting a bit morbid now so will shut up hope our duracell bunny is all comfy and tucked up in bed?
love and big hugs mother hen mel still waiting for them firemen and hoses! lol xxxx
Hey Henny/chikky Karen sweetheart hen Sorry your feeling rubbish, dont dismiss it babe, its horrible when you feel so awful, thinking of you, dont feel upset about my brother, i honestly dont think its anything major, knowing him its down to stress, I love him dearly but we are like chalk and cheese, hes such a work aholic, he is a big nob, runs his own million pound plus business, talks very poosh, lives in a different world to me, oh gawd i sound horrid dont I? I love him to bits and I truly hope it isnt serious, lets wait and see, he will be fine im sure, will keep you all updated, now feel bad sounds like I dont care, truly I do xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
you always say such lovely things, just reading your message has made me feel better, your one in a million xxxxx
i have tried inhaling the water but not with vicks, so i will try that later thank you for suggestion, yes i agree with daley the sinutab hasnt helped at all, now iv'e got antibiotics which are making me feel even worse, what a moaner i am. isnt it strange mel, i miss my mum so so very much every day, but now when i feel ill i really want her here so much that it hurts, as she was always such a real mumsy mum and when i was ill just seeing her or hearing her voice would make me feel so warm and so loved, sorry but i am so emotional and teary, (silly cow arent i?), but miss her so!!
i'm so pleased your darryl is well bless him speak soon lots of love karen xxx
of course you care about your brother hunni, it didnt sound bad at all what you said, just that your such different people. i dont think you could ever sound horrible sweetie, your far too nice and caring, your a little star!!
