Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey chickie Juls well.............eeerrrr.............uuuuuuummmmmmmmm.................god thats a tough one!!!!! Let me think!!!!!!!! Well i'm not sure really just i guess i care about people so much it's just my nature. You really are too kind but i do appreciate all you say and i only do my best hun. Sometimes i help other times i'm not sure that i do really but i will say one thing i always care! You really are too kind in what you say though babe, as i know you have been miles more supportive to people on here than i ever could be, as i do read all the supportive posts you send to everyone and i often wonder how you do it too? I hope this answers your question? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey karen hollys mum You and Shell really got to get some better taste in music!! lol Just joking babe i'm glad you both have a common interest and that you are obviously so supportive of each other Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Juls Shut up woman you'll have me crying next! lol You're no different to me so stop giving me all the praise! You don't see me at home when i'm a complete mess and pretty useless to everyone really i just wish daz would get better but he's not going to is he sweet and no one can change that. Sorry ignore me gonna go cos i'm getting down and i really don't wanna bring you all down with me. You have a nice rest of the evening and i will try to post again soon I really am sorry love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
