Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey my chickie Shell I'm so pleased for you well done!!!! So nice to hear good news and good for you in beating this crap disease! I told you that you could do it eh? Daz is not too bad thanks had a very hard day yesterday as we arranged his funeral that's why i wasn't around yesterday just was quite down and hate for people to hear from me when i'm like that really. He had a blood test today and his white cell count was 3.38 so thats good at least he's not neutropenic so far this time with the chemo. He has been drinking a little more and is eating a bit so that's good too. His boss Gary is coming round tomorrow at 5pm to look at our garden and have a chat to daz about finishing it for him as daz started it before he was diagnosed so only half finished. I hope you are feeling a bit better tonight and that your mind is a little more settled now? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
hi MHM, it good to hear that darryl isnt too bad hun, if ur down hun and dont feel upto chatting on here hun im usually on msn alot if u want to chat, or if theres any thing i can do. im soooooo happy tonite and am going to have a drink sat to celebrate. i do feel a bit like i shud leave here now as i havent got this disease anymore but dont want to cuz want to be abble to support all of the lovely friends i have made here. so am going to stay for a while. love and hugs hunni shell xoxoxo
hey my chickie Shell You have no reason to leave here sweet as i'm sure there are many people you could help with your experience of this C. You have fought and won, thank god, an enormous battle and i'm sure your strength and support will help many people on here. Anyway you're my chickie so you can't leave as you know MH have trouble letting her chickies fly the nest! lol I am really happy for you and you deserve that drink on Sat so you have fun and enjoy your new life. Have a few for me too won't you! lol Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shell you cannot leave we all need you to show us the way !! No chance are you disappearing off!
Mellymoo I am please Daz is a little better today but fully understand how difficult yesterday was for you and I am cross with myself as I wrote you a long pm thought I had sent it but today checking back it had not gone to you but into lost pm world!
thanx MHM hunni, will def av a drink or 5 for you lol. and thankyou for your support hun its been very much appreciated and hopefully i can repay u by being here for you. love ya loads xoxoxoxox
hey my chickie Juls Don't you just hate it when that happens!!!! No worries babe i'm ok you know me tough ole bird eh? lol Heard from Kate today she rang me she is okish and will be back friday but she said hi to all and sends her love. I saw your post to donna today poor lady my heart went out to her but good for you helping her when she was so worried and upset. See that's why you're my chickie!! I hope things work out ok for Paul but can understand donna being worried bless her. How has your day been today babe hope you haven't been working too hard? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
hiya shell, just read some of your posts, great news hun, Im celebrating for you with music from no other than mr justin timberlake, good on yer girl, love karen, x x x
hey chickie Shell You have no reason to thank us babe that's what we're here for to help each other so no worries ok? You just enjoy your new life and make sure you do have a few drinks for me too mate! Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
