Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey my chickie MUS Teresa I'm so proud of baby chick Michaela she did so well bless her she's got a big heart eh? Haven't heard from chickie Kate yet babe i was gonna txt her but thought it best not to disturb her when she's away with our DB and dad. They need some undisturbed time together don't you think? It's such a shame isn't it and i really feel for Kate she has been so strong and i'm blowed if i know where she gets her strenght from what about you? I'm sure she will post again when she's ready babe so try not to worry too much eh? She'll be back soon and i'm sure she knows we all love her and thinking of her lots. Love and hugs your CCC MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
Dear MHM Michaela has got a big heart, I think with her it's when we see little one's up at UCH that have this shite disease and she sit's there and say's 'I don't care now that I've got it because look at them!!' I've been wanting to text Kate to see how things are but like you I agree that they should have their undisturbed time and spend it together, worst thing when in hospital or needing time with family is your mobile going off with some loud and sometimes 'rude' sounding ringtone eh? She has got a strength (bless her) but don't know why you're blowed by it as you have it too!!! lots of love and hugs your MUS!! (understand why you call me that lol) chickie Teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie MUS Teresa It's sad and heartbreaking when you see little ones with this crap disease isn't it? I feel so much for them but they have such strength and just seem to get on with it blees their little hearts. I can only imagine as a mum what you and other mums must go through. You too are also strong and brave my little chickie! You have a inner strength that i so admire must be why i got you as a chickie abeit a MUS one! lol Why arn't you in bed yet? you up late again You should rest too you know cos who's gonna look after our baby chick if you're all burnt out eh? I went to bed with daz at 9pm cos felt really tired then woke bakc up again at 12.30 cos it's so flipping hot and i had poxy toothache again! Is it hot where you are tonight? Hope our baby chick is sleeping well though? I think it's best to leave our chickie Kate for the few days she is away as like you said nothing worse than your phone going off when you just want time alone with your family. She will be ok babe and i know she will come back you can't keep a good girl down eh? lol love and hugs your CCC MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my hippy chickie donna Was just gonna do that when i read your post so thanks for that hun. What a barstool that person was i also lokked at their profile but they haven't written one so you was right about that. I hope chumley doesn't get to read that as i was shocked my self but as i been on here a while now i know sadly there are people out there why prey on people who are suffering or in pain. It's just a shame they do it so late at night or early morn so mac don't block them before they get read! Maybe they know how these sites work and thats why they do it at these times? I definately think mac needs to monitor this site a bit better though Sorry for my rant there! lol People like that just make me sick to my stomach! How are you tonight babe anyway? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Donna Im usually so far behind, have obviously got the wind up me tonight lol!! hope you are all ok and had a good weekend, love and hugs to you all Teresa xxxxxxx
hey chickie Teresa you're quick posting tonight what you pooped the bed!! lol I just reported the post on chumleys thread too lets hope it gets removed before she gets to read what that barstool of a so called person posted eh? They make me want to scream!!!!!! Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxx
hey my hippy chickie Donna no thanks needed babe we need to keep an eye out for nasty people like that if you can call tham a person hiding behind their PC!!!! Night night sweet hope you get a good sleep and have sweet dreams and hope your son is feeling a litttle better today too Still holding you hand and walking with you Sleep well my chickie love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear MHM Only got up again as Michaela did and because she's been so down and off today it make's you worry doesn't it? I think when your faced with this you just go on autopilot don't you and I do think you find an inner strength (very strange and surreal feeling). Have you still not managed to get your teeth sorted properly, hope you're not in too much pain? It is really muggy here tonight, either that or the bloody menopause!! Michaela is out for the count bless her, love and hugs MUS!!! your chickie Teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie teresa I think you do find the strength somewhere though not sure where from! Was looking round Morrisons when i went shopping but didn't find it there so god knows where it comes from! lol I'm sorry our baby chick has had a bad night but lets hope she settles for the rest of it eh? Daley and Kirtsy call me menapause mum cos i'm always hot flipping cheeky sods gonna end up bopping them one day! lol Get me wet lettuce leaf out me thinks! Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
