Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey MHM I just wanted to say i am thinking of you and Daz, daley and Kirsty sending you loads of (((((((HUGS)))))))) glad you got Daz to drink more hope today is a better day love and hugs Chickie sue buttyxxxx
hey my chickie sue butty mophead madwoman! lol Thanks babe hope you have fun today cooking that roast dinner! i know how much you love cooking them! lol Will be over later for my share! Hope you're ok sweet and feeling a little better Much love and big hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey MHM yea i will they are having chicken sorry MHM its the only thing that the boys like so got to give them what they like hey lol got to sort the fish pond out first but its ok moomy has got the life guards on stand by :) Dont you be worrying about me hun i know you do but concetrate on your self me i just got to learn a diffenet way# you pop up in my head every day and i hope you can feel me holding your hand hust like you do mine love and hugs chickie sue butty mophead madman xxxxxx
hey my chickie sue butty mophead madwoman That name still makes me smile! lol You Cannabul eating chicken! lol i forgive you this time for the sake of the kids! I feel you close everyday sweet and i'm still holding your hand and think of you every day too. You be careful with that fish pond as our chickie moomy is out singing today so you may have to shout loud for her to hear you over her voice of an angel singing voice! lol I will keep on standby incase i'm needed to rescue you too. You have a nice day today sweet Love you loads and you keep strong eh? Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey MHM im not eating chicken me eating pattern gone away for some reason lol i wont be having any of the roast cant face it after you cook it lol moomy gave me the instructions last night have a whistle 3 long and 3 short so if you hear that you know i need rescuing lol right i better had start getting myself motivated and kicking myself in to gear as nothing will be done lol You must try and get some rest and try and have a nice day ok
massive hugs to you all
love and hugs Chickie sue butty mophead madwomanxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie sue butty mophead madwoman Well you try to eat a little for me today ok? Promise me cos you need to look after yourself too? You try to have a nice day babe and i will be thinking of you Will listen out for the whistle too! lol Love you loads you take care Thinking of you lots and holding your hand Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxx
hey mhm i was going to say night night then( get the people in white coats in) you take care of yourself ok
lovely to speak to you love to the family tightly holding your hand for today and always speak soon take care love and hugs chickie sue butty mophead madwomanxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Moomy good luck for the next couple of days can hear you here sounds good :) got my whistle so all prepared hugs CSBMMxxxx
hey chickie sue butty mophead madwoman! i'll get the jacket for you with the long sleeves! lol You just try to eat and have a nice day i know it's hard for you sweet. Speak to you again soon you take care love you loads love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
