Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Message purely for Darryl I have some home brew and Parsnips as payment. the following list of \jobs need immediate attention. Pond needs cleaning out lots of growth of Lillies and blanket weed. { Frogs turned up last week but are all hidden under the ice at the moment~)
Gutters need cleaning Moss on drive to be cleaned Maid still moaning about something. Mind you I hear her moaning in the night anyway so don't know what that's about. Some wine needs drinking Cattle grid needs lifting and the Leaves removing from underneath Bedding Plants to be put out. Gardener is on holiday so lawns need attention New Coat of paint required on Gable end Silver needs polishing (maid is useless) Sorry she does not understand polishing she thinks it is Polish ing whatever that means. Loads of weeding required. Where do they all come from.
The other thought that occurs to me Darryl is that if ever you decide to take up recreational drugs you now have a trained injector. Watch out for the dark brown liquid. ha ha
Hope you are feeling better, now you are Mel's pincushion Regards Charles
hello charles, darryl said the easiest way to sort the garden out is to concrete the lot, pond and all!!! hahaha that wasn't very helpful was it????????? very lazy man i got here! lol looks like you're stuck with doing it all yourself my little chicken! i thought i was going to get rid of daz for a while too, while he was so busy at your house, so guess i'm stuck with him now!! best i cancel that wild party i had booked while he was away and unpack his suitcase!! hahaha well i did try sorry love and hugs mel xxx
No concrete will not do. It would take too much. the garden is at least an acre. The gardener would also be a bit upset. Its his pride and joy Just click on pictures and it will show you what I mean
I think you need to get a few more of those injections into him.
I used to keep pigs and sometimes had to inject them with antibiotics. It was good practice for when my wifey needed the neutrapenic injections. Only trouble was when I told the district nurse that I would have no difficulty injecting my wife because I had already got experience from the pigs she took it all the wrong way.
dear charles, i agree with you would take too much concrete to cover all the garden and it's so beautiful why would you want to!! i didn't realise it was so big and looks lovely to me how it is! our garden is only 100ft long and about 20ft wide so you have a park compared to ours! haha i could always send darryl over with a tent then he could pitch it up and perhaps do a few jobs each day! i like the sound of that but he's looking at me now with a evil look on his face so perhaps not a good idea after all! looks like i'll have to leave it to your gardener after all! haha i may start practising the injections on a pig if i can find a friendly farmer who is willing to let me have a go! love and hugs mel xxx
dear charles, that was so heartfelt it's bought a tear to my eye. i'm sure she is looking down on you and keeping you safe and one day you will be reunited in the beautiful garden never to be apart again. xxx thinking of you my little chicken love and hugs your mother hen melxxxxx
Sometimes things just overwhelm. I was always the strong one. Never shed a tear. Now I can produce floods at the drop of a hat. The loss of your soulmate is the cruelist of all pain. It cuts to the very core of your being.
dearest charles, i feel for you so much i can't imagine my life without darryl it just seems so unreal. i wish i could wave a magic wand and bring your soulmate back for you, but i'm sure she's looking down on you all the time, and is with you always. she sounds like a very special lady and i'm sure she is so proud of you for how well you have done. Life is cruel but we get our rewards in heaven when we will be joined with all our loved ones and never feel pain or heartache again. you have always cheered me up when i have had a difficult time coping and you are a very special person indeed to be able to offer others comfort when you are so obviously having your own pain to cope with. I'm proud to know such a wonderful man and you have bought joy to my life as i'm sure you have many other people. Stay strong my friend and god bless you love and hugs mel xxx
Frogs turned up last week but are all hidden under the ice at the moment~)
Just click on pictures and it will show you what I mean 
