Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
dear charles, my dera friend so nice to hear from you again, and thank you for your kind words of support. I had to reing the emergency dr this morning as darryl had to have an injection and the district nurse hadn't contacted us about this. I was panicking and asked maid marion for advice which was very helpful as i'm sure you know she is a wonderful person!! i decided to ring the emergancy drs to see if they could contact the district nurse for me as i have no contact details for her, and sure enough an hour later she was on my doorstep and jabbing darryl in his arm! i'm so pleased this has been done and i will be doing them from tomorrow myself. It was a lot easier than i thought it would be and the needle was tiny, although darryl always say they feel like a javelin pole being inserted in his arm!! haha think thats a man thing! sorry if i offend haha we don't have any numbers for the mac nurse outside normal office hours and still don't know the district nurses number either but i can ring my gp to speak to her when the surgery is open, which unfortunatly isn't today! well my little chicken i hope you have a nice day, and hope to hear from you very soon love and hugs mother hen mel xxx
Ah you have made me feel quite chirpy! Sounds as though you need to have a bit more support than you are getting. You certainly ought to have contact details for the district nurse. Mine were so good they would phone me daily even at the weekend to check if they were needed. But then I live in Wales, which I think makes a difference. One of the perks of the Principality. I am off to the garden centre. Got to spruce my borders up to help sell the house. My son suggested plastic flowers, what do you think? Love to you both Charles
dear charles my little chicken, i'm so glad iv'e made you feel chirpy, at least then i know my little chicken is well! haha i'm not so sure about the plastic flowers though, they will take a lot of cleaning won't they!! think your son is just trying to get out of work there hahaha well i hope you find some nice real flowers for your borders bur have to wait a while for the flowers to bloom! you have fun anyway love and hugs mother hen mel xxx
dear charles my little chicken, Where is my morning hello today? I logged in thinking you would be here to greet me in your usual happy way and what do i find? my little chicken isn't here!! Well as your mother hen i just wanted to check that you was ok? So i'm asking you, are you ok? The sun is out and i'm really happy as i had 7 hrs sleep last night! I feel so much better, and infact, i feel so high i think Darryl will have to scrape me off the ceiling soon! haha Darryl seems brighter today too, so maybe time for you to get your orders in for the jobs to do now before he falls asleep again! Well my little chicken i hope you're having a good day and will wait on the ceiling for your reply, good job i have a laptop or a big monitor screen could get a bit heavy after a while haha good bye my little feathered friend love and hugs your mother hen mel xxx
my dearest marion, i just wanted to say hello, and to tell you that i got 7 hrs sleep last night so feel so much better today! infact i feel i could cope with anything today! haha I took two of the temazepam last night( well early hours actually) and slept till 9.30am! I even did Darryls injection this morning and apart from having to stab him twice( the first time the needle never went in far enough as i was worried about hurting him) it was not as bad as i thought it would be. Although i'm sure i heard him scream when i went out of the room! lol I hope you are having a good day today and that your husband is doing well. Just wanted to share my good news with you and to thank you for all the support you have given me you truely are one of the best and a great comfort. take care feel free to message me anytime you like love hugs and jellytots mel xxx
There was a brave lass called Mellymoo Who stabbed her old fellow in the belly who may have screamed ouch and jumped off the couch And landed face down on the Tele. wow!
CHARLES MY LITTLE CHICKEN!!! so glad you are ok, and thank you for the poem it was so true too. I can come off the ceiling now i know your ok. Was getting achey arms hanging on to the light fitting and evrything was upside down!!! very disorieanting!! ( i'm a bad speller by the way) haha it's so good to hear from you as you always cheer me up and brighten my day!! Darryl said to say hi and have you sorted that list out yet as he's rareing to go! lol take care chicken love hugs and jelly tots your mother hen mel xxxx
Dear Mel, please forgive me, i forgot to ask in my PP how you are coping with the injection's for Darryl,i was so wrapped up in what i was doing i completely forgot,i hope everything is goin to plan, love and best wishes to you and all on this site,Billy,xx.
hello billy, thank you for your message. You wasn't wrapped up in yourself so don't think that ok? the injections went really well. I got everything ready then jabbed darryl but the needle didn't go in far enough so had to jab him again!!! i was shaking like a leaf but once it was done it wasn't so bad. Darryl said it never hurt but i'm sure i heard him scream when i went out the room! hahaha he is doing well today and will p/m you soon have a good day safe and happy biking love and hugs mel xxx
