Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey hippy chickie Donna Thanks for your kind words to kate and for your support of her. I'm sure all the messages will help her know we are all here for her and supporting her in her worrying time. I hope you are well tday and that all's well your end? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear John Thank you also for the kind words and thoughts for our Chickie Kate and her mum DB, I'm sure she will know we are all thinking and praying for her but thank you for your support i know Kate will appreciate it I hope you are well and that alls ok today Much love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxx
MHM, I think I'd be right when I say we are all poised here waiting for news of Kate and her determined DB, and all are hoping that it is just another blip......
Dear Kate Thinking of you and your mum sending you loads of ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))) to help keep your strengh up love and big hugs suexxxx
hey my chickies Kate has just rang me She is so upset and really crying bless her and has come home from the hospital to take the dogs out. Her dad is with our DB at the moment. Kate is going to ring her brother and go back to the hospital She never slept last night and is very emotional so i have told her to try to get a little sleep before she goes back to the hospital and that we are all thinking of her and holding her hand. I have told her we love her and are here for her always We need to keep strong for our kate as she really needs us all right now. I asked her to contact me later to let me know how things are going so will let you all know as soon as i do You all take care and keep strong Love you all Big group hugs for strenght and courage all round Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
MHM, am glad some news of our Kate has come through, have been on 'stand by' this morning till we hear some news.... bless her, she is going through it......love to her and you too....
In Iyar: Ani Adonai Rofecha (I am God, your Physician) A Song of Healing
After this long night of weakness, I wake again in the morning of return; Shaking off the terrors and the dreams, I open my lips to the Eternal.
You are my Strength and my Hope, The Author of my healing; You are my Promise and my Courage Guiding the steps I take toward healing.
After the winter's darkness and biting cold, The hidden awayness of my illness, The isolation, the fear that settled upon me, I rise with renewed strength to praise You.
You are the Wonder of new life, Warming, healing sun upon my head; You restore my concern for others, As I relinquish my constant self-inventory.
You come to me as spring comes, Circling back to heal the ravaged earth; You rest Your hand of blessing on my shoulder And I sigh with relief at Your concern.
I look for You, Divine Physician, Even as I begin again to take up my life; I look for You, Complete Healer, As I begin again.
hey my chickie Helen Thanks sweet It's just so frustrating not being there with kate to hold her hand isn't it? Wish i could do more for her but i hope she knows we all love her very much and are all thinking of her. I'm sure she does. Just feel so flipping useless though don't you? I hope you are having a nice day though and that all's well your end? Much love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie Fran Thank you for that sweet That was beautiful and very heartfelt I'm sure our chickie Kate will find comfort and strenght in those words I have p/m you by the way. Much love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
