Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
What a really powerful and heart warming story that is Charles. Was there ever a book or anything written on this lady? My husbad would be really interested in it as he is off to Poland at the beg of March to visit the concentration camps. Hope that this finds you well and you are taking care of youself love Freddiexx
hello charles, thank you for the further information on irena, she truely is a fantastic woman and so very brave. If you do know of any books about her i would be very interested to read them so if you know of any could you please let me know? i hope you have a good day today and i look forward to hearing from you very soon. love and hugs mel xx
Hi to Freddie1 The answer to your question is I don't think there are any books written about this heroine as yet. Irena was nominated for the Nobel peace prize last year but it was given to Al Gore instead for his documentary about climate change? If I had been him I would have stood to one side as a mark of respect.
Mel my old chuck, I am sorry to blast your topic with all this info, but I thought you needed cheering up. You have my Polish maid to thank for briefing me. Woops she has just handed me a website you can look at http://irenasendlerowa.net/default.asp Seems that even at 98 Irena has her own website. Must go and have a read. Will talk again soon. Just made a chicken and Venison pie for my son's visit tonight. Love Charles xxx
dear charles, thank you again for the web site address i will have a look at that when i've finished this message. darryl has been tired again today and has been in pain with his back and legs. Ive made him a nice chicken stew as it's his low immunity week this week due to the chemo. i hope you enjoyed your pie!! haha well my friend, bye for now hope to hear from you soon love and hugs your mother hen mel xx
morning charles, nice to hear from you again, the chicken stew i'm afraid was a necessary sacrifice for my husbands health! we all have to make them sometimes i suppose!!! haha as you said happy bithday irena hope she has many more! i read that web address you gave me very interesting and am going to look out for the books mentioned on there, so thank you for that. I hope you are ok and that you have a lovely day today, fondest love and a big hug your mother hen mel xxx
hello charles, just wanted to say good morning in case you was about? i hope you have a good day today and that you are well? darryl was in a lot of pain yesterday as i forgot to pick up his long acting morphine capsules but i got them from our gp's and he seemed to brighten up and be in less pain after. i felt really bad about him running out of his tablets so have took to writing it all down on the calender now! hope to hear from you again soon love and hugs mel xx
Dear Mel, Don't beat yourself up over forgotten medicine. I had a plonker for a GP, at one stage, who relied on me to tell him what drugs to prescribe for my wife. I had to search the internet and talk to the local pharmacist before then telling our GP what was required. Without ever examining her or visiting he would just accept my word and provide. The responsibility on me a complete lay person when it comes to pills and potions was horrendous. Not only were we fighting an awful disease the support I was getting was less than if I had gone to the PDSA. Its easy, with all the anxiety of caring, to miss something that is crucial to well being. I usually managed to find problems occured at the weekend or certainly out of normal hours. So help was even less easy to obtain. Hopefully you have in place a support network with Macmillan and District Nurses just a phone call away. I managed this over our last three months together and it was superb. I achieved it by changing GP. My new GP is in his late 70's and did more in the first three minutes of those last three months than the previous GP did in the preceeding 3 years. I have just realised I am mithering you with me matters. I am sorry you had a bad spell with Darryl and glad you have set up a better way of preventing its occurrence, however, your support team should be ensuring you do not run out of essential pain relief. So whip them not yourself. Have a good day, enjoy the frosty sunshine. Try not to fret. All your friends are here to chat with you. Kindest regards Charles xxx
I hope you're ok and that hubby of yours is doing ok. Thank you for accepting me as a friend. It's good to give the support when we can. I'm glad you went to the docs, and hopefully you will be able to rest a little at night now - if nothing else it may clear your mind a little so the 'panic' doesn't overcome you too much. You seem to be doing a great job looking after oyur hubby. Keep smiling Big hugs from me and Hi there Charles, you ok? Love TJ xx
