Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey chickie Teresa I know how you feel about the neutopenia as Daz had that 4 times out of the 6 courses of chemo he had. He had high temps too and infact the last time it happened he wouldn't go to the hospital till after the darts had finished as he was watching them on TV!! lol He did go in the last time just before xmas and was eventually allowed home xmas day with a lot of moaning form him may i add. Thats why for the last two chemo sessions i had to inject him myself with filgrastim. Maybe thats something you could ask about for Michaela as may keep her from being addmitted all the time with neutropenia? If you don't feel able to do the jabs then the district nurse can come out each day to do them. But honestly babe they are so easy to do you soon get the hang of them. Good luck with the MRI scan wed will be thinking of you both as thats when daz has onco appointment too. Daz is just so tired and lethargic all the time. Gets up in the afternoon then an hour later is asleep again. He was doing well until he had the radio on his head so wondering if thats to do with that? Not really sure anymore. He's still croaky and i call him darth vada now! lol Sorry not being cruel but have to have a sense of humour eh? Kirstys face is all healed up now and she's back on the booze tonight so don't expect to see her again till the wee hours! love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
dear mick Daz very tired and lethargic and i was wondering if this could be to do with the radio he had on his head 5 weeks ago as he was doing really well up until then? Not sure if you know the answer? He see's his radio onco on wed so may have to ask then love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Juls How was the first day back to work? Hope all went well How's richard today? How you enjoying the rain? lol Flipping weather i been in the garden planting veggies in the rain today still saves watering them now! lol Daz still very tired and lethargic but has onco appointment wed and CT scan of throat, chest, abdo, and pelvis on the 10th at 5.40pm. That's an emergency appointment by the way! lol At least they got all covered so hopefully all be good news. Have to wait another week after CT scan for results though. love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
