Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hi it's been raining here all day too, I am pleased that DAZ is getting his scan, a full body one too good, I always feel happier witha full scan as other wise you worry about the bits they didn't look at! well I would coz I am a worrier! Whats that I read you burst your abcess/ MHM? whatever next? How are all the other chickies and Rooster?
hey mick Prefer a 42" but will put up with a 32" if thats all you got!! oh......................eeerrrrrrr.... thats well dodgy!!!!!! lol Love and hugs MHM x
When dad had radio (although not on his head but round neck and throat) he got very tired which was so unlike him, he would stay in bed till late afternoon/early evening and only come down for dinner and to spend a few hours with mum and his voice became very croaky to the point that sometimes I would have trouble understanding him which was frustrating for him and made me feel bad...though we did have a laugh sometimes when he would ask a certain question and I would reply with something totally irrelevant and then he'd repeat himself and I'd say 'oh that's what you said' he'd reply with 'I knew you hadn't understood me bloody cow!!' bless him.
I didn't realise that the injections you had to give Daryll was filgrastim...I will ask next time we go in for chemo, thanks for that hun..so Kirsty back on the booze eh, let's hope her feet keep her up this time lol!!
chickie Juls I had to burst the abcess in the end as felt loads of pressure so feels better now! I hope people ain't eating by the way! lol Put you right off custard! lol Sorry that was bit sick! lol Funny though! Will feel better knowing Daz having full body scan and will set our minds at rest i'm sure love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Juls How's things hun :-) how's your day been back at work? was you glad of it what with all this bloody rain, me thinks we need to find a sunny island to get away from it all eh? xxxx
Hey feathered friends, my work completed, DB all cosy Just had the most loveliest phonecall from our Kimmy, such a sweetheart she thanks everybody for the support, shes desperate for a smoke bless her but hit the sauce to calm her nerves, girl after me own heart hey xxxxxxxxxxxx So there is our mamma mel soundin cockney, me scouse and our kimmy with her brummy accent,,,, brilliant love it, Rooster loved the serenading last night nows do you go thru to the next round with your singing? lol K xxxxxxxxxxx Wombling twombling hey babe, xxxxxxxxx Juls hey you buddy xxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Teresa I think all this may be to do with radio and virus that daz has but will find out more soon. It makes sense that your dad was the same after radio so that has set my mind at rest even more now. I have to keep saying 'pardon' to daz too as sometimes very hard to hear him, but i put that down to me bad ears listening to loud Motorhead music! lol Going to see them again this year by the way in Nov if Daz well enough. Certainly get rid of some stress and frustation then with all the screaming and shouting! lol You ask about them filgrastim jabs cos if it keeps Michaela out of hospital then got to be better for her and you too as i know how tireing visiting can get. Kirsty better stay on her feet tonight as don't fancy a early morning call to go pick her up again! lol love and hugs MHM xxxxxxx
Hey mick i got sky digital so no worries bout the size mate will fit any size!!!!! the bigger the better i say!!!! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
