Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hi moomy, how are you hun and Caz and hubby doing?? Me and Michaela were back up hospital today as her temp rose again so was told to call ambulance again.. thankfully they reduced her temp and discharged us tonight, have got MRI on wednesday at UCH hope all well, love and hugs xxxx
You are having to flit in and out a lot, bless, it must be a pain.....glad she is out again, though. Will hope all is well for her MRI and going to plan.....
Caz slept loads today, i took her breakfast about 2pm, and insisted she stayed there till she was really rested enough, she got up very late!
Talking about being late, am off to bed soon myself, so will wish you all a peaceful night......
Hi chickies I am back now Teresa sorry to hear bout Michaela but at least she back home now bless her. I hope you both manage to get some rest tonight babe bet you're tired now? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Helen I forgot i'm the MH so will adopt you as my baby and me your adopted mummy instead! lol Just had a very senior moment me thinks! lol See i'm more senior than you really! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I always feel a bit of a fraud as UCH tell us to call ambulance and go to local (I asked them to take us to The Prince of Wales thinking they meant pub ha ha!!) that sounded funny when I thought it but seems really lame now eh? anyway they usually send a paramedic and a car as I explain isn't a so-called 'emergency' and then when we get their her temp is usually normal...bloody kids lol!! but they have to check what with her being neutropenic, we have MRI on Wed at UCH so at least she'll be checked again then to see if her levels are rising as due chemo again next week.
I see that Daz has his Onco appt on Wednesday and scan booked for 10th, how's he been and how are you, Daley and Kirsty, is her face any better yet? so you been busy planting veg plants in the rain, I tried growing strwberries in a pot once was really proud when the little buds came through and then I came down one day and there was a strawberry...Michaela had taken it from the fridge and planted it there lol!! Lots of love and hugs xxxxxxx
