Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
I like it girls if i can make you laugh, we have to laugh thru all our hurt dont we? my mums anthem is smile by nat king cole, maybe im repeatin myself now, sorry if ive told you this before, but we have to laugh, know thats not so easy on dark days but . well you all get my drift without me harpin on, for ever ha ha
you do have to try and have a laugh mate eh? sometimes it is so hard though your right there x we get your drift, time for straight jacket again soon by sounds of it lol hee hee
You just made me laugh again but it took me a while to think s**t ( see kate thats what you should do when ya swear!!) then I realised!! think i must of been born blond and mum and dad dyed my hair before i grew up! sorry to all natural blonds no offence meant, please tell me karen that your not blonde!! lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
lol i am blonde honey (of course i is from essex lol), but out of a bottle so not true blonde but still as dippy lol sorry for any blondes only joking x
Sorry for butting in here lol...just thought I'd say I'm from Essex too! I'm not blonde...well I'm not anything at the moment cos I'm bald, haha. But you never know, I could come back a blonde. How strange would that be (I was brunette before)!
not bringing things down just that i had a cry earlier as wish dad was here as miss him so much but talking about laughing through hurt thats all we seem to have done, when dad turned up at the house (sorry dad ive just laughed out loud as i put down when you turned up at funeral) sorry chicks waffling a bit but anyway but when the guy got out and walked in front of dad to the main road she asked if he walked all the way there!! bless her, diversified there sorry! phaps i need a straight jacket too, hope there's none on here that are in straight jackets!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
