AM I THE ONLY CARER WHO NEVER SLEEPS!!!!!

morning mel,
im sorry youve had such a bad night, it must be so difficult to know what to do or say to your darry, i dont have any real advice for you, i believe what you are saying to him already is probably the best you can do, i just wanted to let you know i have heard your cry for help, and that i will be thinking of you , and keeping everything crossed for tommorow to go ok. darryl might feel a bit better after some sleep? as being awake all night cannot help his state of mind. im clutching at straws really, just want to help, but dont know how to. im sorry.
sending you a big hug (((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))) and will thing positive thoughts for darryl and you .
you help so many people with your positivity and encouragement
take care
xxALYxx

hello ally,
thank you for replying to my 'cry for help'. It was kind of you and i appreciate any support i can get at the monent. Darryl is now awake but still seems very low, he's being really quiet, which is not like him at all, as usually he is the life and soul of the party! I think he still has tomorrow on his mind and I can understand that. I'm worried about tomorrow too, but i'm trying not to think about it until tomorrow, but i sympathise that he finds that difficult as it's happening to him. I just wanted to thank you for your support, and will let you know how it goes tomorrow if you like? I hope you are having a good day today and that you and your family are well? If you want to chat anytime i'm here for you, so take care be good keep smiling, love and big ((((((((((((((((hgus)))))))))))) mel xx

hello Sheila,
thank you so much for replying to me it's nice to know i'm not alone. Darryl is awake now but been very quiet and withdrawn. I think he still has the appointment with the onco tomorrow on his mind. I'm sure it's very hard for him, and i'm worried too, but i'm trying not to think about it until tomorrow, but can understand that's difficult for him as it is happening to him. I suggested we go for a walk today but he said he doesn't feel like it, and he didn't yesterday either. I'm sure sfter tomorrow is out of the way he will feel better, but at the moment he's just very worried. The poor man i wish i could do, or say something to make him feel better. But whatever i say is not going to be enough to assure him! I would like to thank you for your support and please remember i am here for you too, so if you ever want a chat just message me. I will let you know how tomorrow goes if you like? and i'm sure it won't be as bad as Darryl thinks. Hope to hear from you very soon love and big ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) mel xxx

Hi Mel,

Sorry to hear about the night that you have had with Darryl.

I have had breast cancer and I worry about every meeting with the surgeon, the oncologist and my first chemo session. I have sleepless nights and worry that they will find something else.

My first chemo session is on wednesday and I am dreading it, been in tears already and scared stiff about it.

You are doing the best you can by being with Darryl and looking after him.

I wish you lots of love and hugs for the both of you.

Fran
xx

hello Fran,
thank you so much for replying to my message, that was very kind of you considering you have your own worries at the moment.I wish i could say something to help Darryl feel better and worry a little less, but i know whatever i say or do is not going to assure him, and i just feel so helpless! Darryl is awake now and iv'e suggested we do something today but he's not interested and has been very quiet and withdrawn. I hope you don't mind me asking, but as a sufferer of this awful disease, am i better just to leave him alone and not talk about tom or should i talk about it instead? Iv'e tried talking to him but he is just so convinced he's got worse that i don't think i'm helping really. I wish i knew what to do for the best, and truely hope you don't mind me asking you? I hope Wednesday goes ok for you and please let me know how you get on. I'm also here anytime you want a chat and if i can be of any help them please feel free to ask. Darryl has his last chemo on thursday so will let you know how that goes, and tomorrow if you like? I'm sorry that you also worry alot and hope Wednesday is not too bad for you, but i'm here if you need me. I don't know what i would do without the support i have found on here in the last month and would like to thank you for being one of those supporters! You sound a lovely lady caring about others when you have your own worries to deal with, so THANK YOU VERY MUCH! hope to hear from you very soon.
love and ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) mel xxx

Oh Mellymoo
So very very sorry i missed you last night mate and especialy "in your hour of need this morning" we are like shift workers arent we? I am gonna keep everything crossed for you both tomorrow, poor Darryl and poor you, wish i could get hold of a magic wand, Id wave it all over you both, cant offer you sound advice Mel, daft to say dont worry when i know your out your sweet mind with worry, but dont give up hope ok ?Hopefuly your worries will be unfounded ,You are doing a wonderful job Mel dont forget that and I am very proud of you too,I hope you get some rest tonight, things look so much brighter when you have had a decent sleep and you my dear always seem to be awake !,Keep smileing Mel, you know my mums favourite song is "smile........ though your heart is breaking" by Nat King Cole, Not always easy though is it?, she makes me listen to it- a lot!
I rang the hospital and you was so right they were lovely infact they gave me the same information as you - see what a great carer you are? They told me to keep contact minimal which is a bit tough so was giving her her meds at arms length then legging it out the room, tried to "work it off" yesterday but wasnt on this planet, cleaned the house, "nuked" the sunday lunch ha ha, then fainted whilst bathing our two westies, soap suds everywhere! us carers have to keep goin dont we?
Mac nurse been today and changed mums anti sickness so hopefuly she will feel a bit better tomorrow, oh and gave me some surgeons masks ....... made mum smile
When did you start on Prozac Mel? mums gp gave me happy pills too fluoxetine i think, they took a couple of weeks to get into my system nowhere near as whingey as I was , I dont know never used to take any tablets now im happy pilled up, lempsip maxed up oh and mild sleepers of a night Jees uppers and downers ! im turning into Amy Whine**** -ha ha

Well Mellymoo i will leave you ,now boy can i waffle? Hopefuly i will be here if you need me thats if im not concussed on the bathroom floor ha ha
Thinking of you both bestest luck for tomorrow let me know when i can uncross everything Loads of love and hugs Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hello Kate,
thank you so much for cheering me up you just made me laugh, which is a rare thing today! so thenk you for that. I hope you and your mum have a nice day today and hows the cold going by the way? Poor you passing out you sure your ok? don't want my supporter getting ill!! haha I'm on the same tablets as you fluoxetine AKA prozac, have been on them for 10 days so hopefully start to feel better soon. Have to go back to see my GP on the 2rd march next monday. He also gave me temazepam for night time. He gave me 14 pills which have all gone now but said he would rather not give me anymore as they are addictive, and they only worked one night anyway! Darryl is dozing again and seems to have lost all of his energy the last few days. Thats why iv'e been so worried that maybe he is right and has got worse as he's not usually like that, but he seems to not be able to stay awake. I'm sure we're both worrying over nothing but will let you know how he gets on tom, and hopefully it's good news and we're worrying over nothing. You sound like you had a hectic day yesterday what with nuking the dinner and passing out, you need to slow down a bit! haha which i know as a carer is impossible. I bet you do look funny in the mask but at least it made your mum laugh! i can see you know running into her room all masked up then legging it back out again when she's had her meds! haha i'm glad you rang the chemo care number and hope that has set your mind at rest a bit now? You are a wonderful person and you so obviously love and care about your mum and other people, you have been a great support to me and i would like to thank you for that. I will let you know how tomorrow goes and then you can uncross everything! take care and once again thank you so much you're a very special lady! love and hugs mel xxx

hello Kate,
thank you once again for your kind words you really lift me up. I hate this disease and wish sometimes i had it instead of Darryl as it has been so cruel to him and i just want to take his hurt and pain away! I try so very hard to stay happy and supportive to Darryl but it's so hard sometimes. It's amazing how caring for someonw and always looking on the bright side of things all the time how worn out you get isn't it? Not that i should be moaning, and i feel really guilty for that now as i'm not the one ill! I must stop feeling so sorry for myself, slap wrists for me i think!! hahaha I hope the bump on your head goes down soon and that your cold also disappears! Of course you can be one of my little chickens now as if you had to ask! haha. I hope your mum gets on ok with the mac nurse tomorrow and do let me know how she gets on won't you? I hope you have a nice rest of the day. Darryl is asleep again now bless him. Take care cos i care hope to hear from you very soon. I'm here for you anytime my little chicken.
lots of love and big hugs your mother hen mel xxx