Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi Emx, i just wanted to say hello as have never spoken to you before and to welcome you to my thread! I hope that you have a nice day today and that all is well. I hope you don't mind me asking but do you know how barbie wannabe is today? I did leave a message on your thread but couldn't work out how to change my name so i'm very sorry about that, and i hope you don't think i was being disrespectful? My husband Darryl has small cell lung cancer which was diagnosed in september 2007. We have been told by the onco that it is terminal, and gave darryl a life span of 2-3 years so we are only at the beggining of our journey really. Sadley a month ago darryls tumour had spread to his spine but it is only small at the moment. Darryl see's his onco again on tues 26th and has his last session of chemo on thurs 28th. We're not sure what is happening after that but radiotherapy has been mentioned. Well just wanted to say hello and if you ever want to talk or rant and rave then please feel free to message me anytime. Thank you for visiting my thread and i hope to hear from you very soon as you are very welcome here. love and hugs mel xxx
Mel, Charles, anyone up ? May i pick either of your wise brains, or anyone elses please? Ive been up since 5am (unusual for me) and the reason why i got up was my head was splitting my nose running etc, think Im coming down with a cold, Im looking after Mum who is on Chemo and im worried as the advice was dont let anyone come into contact with her with any sort of bug, well im always worried think I worry about worrying if you get my drift, now Im the only one to care for her, dads nerves are completley shot, his hands shake he gets confused and mums on 18 lots of meds a day all through a peg tube in her tummy, now shes able to put them in herself but chemos makeing her eyes bad and im worried she could get doses wrong etc Hope im not sounding a complete drama queen, can you give me some level headed advise ? Id really appreciate it.
morning Kate, i'mm so sorry you're not well and can understand your worried about being in contact with your mum. How many days post chemo is she? how many days ago did she have her last chemo? if your really worried you should have been given a chemo care leaflet that gives phone numbers of who to contact if the patient has probs after chemo, well i would ring them as they can advise you.I have before when i was worried about being in contact with Darryl when i had a cold and they were really nice. I 'm sorry i can't be of more help, but i'm sure your mum will be ok as Darryl was, the only time you have to be careful is from days 7-14 post chemo. Let me know what you decide to do, as i'm here if you need me. try not to worry love and hugs mel xxx
Bless you Mel for your prompt reply, Mum had chemo last Tuesday but also came home with some attached to her in a bottle to slowly infuse, that was removed yesterday by the district nurses, ( looked like a condom ha ha), I have got contact numbers and will give them a call i just worry I may sound silly and know they are rushed off their feet , you have been a wonderful help thankyou so much, i will try not to fret , in the meantime any cold remedys ? I only know of hot toddies and its a little early in the morning for that ha ha so I will continue drinking my second pot of tea
Thankyou you are a lovely careing sole, hope Darryl is as well as he can be Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
morning Kate, i'm always here for you so no need to thank me, if i can be of any help just let me know ok? I'm sure your mum will be fine but do ring the chemo number if you're worried, as i know they may be busy, but would rather you ring for advice then end up having to admit your mum with an infection. I know they really won't mind so let me know what they say? You need to get some lemsip max for your cold there really good! (sorry i didn't suggest something more exciting!!) lol. Please let me know how things go and i'm here for you anytime you need me.You're a very strong person and doing really well, so keep smiling cos i'm sure your family are very proud of you, as i am!!! hope to hear from you soon don't worry love and big (((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))) mel xxx
john was diagnosed mid sept 2007 with brain , lung , liver and kidney tumour, immediately put on steriods and then had 14days of radiotherapy to brain in November. He had no serious problems with the radio, apart from the tiredness and he lost his hair. Thing is though john never really recovered in that all sort of other things seemed to kick in, so quality of life was lost. He was poorly over chritmas and i took him into the hospice on new years eve, thinking that he didnt want to see 2008. they put his steds which had been reduced down right back up to 16 and they gave him a boost, that is until about 4 weeks ago. we just brought john home from a few days in hospice to die.. they told me on thurs that he had more than a couple of days but less than two weeks. Last night was horrific, me and his boys waiting for it, but hes lingering, so distressed its breaking my heart.. cant win, dont want to lose him but dont want to see his so distressed, but just having to ride it.
cant think of any more just now, but happy to chat when i get a min
my dear Gina, oh sweetheart i wish i could be with you and hold you close to take away your pain for you!! I will be thinking of you and hope you find the strength to get through this awful distressing time. I really feel for you, and wish i could take all your pain away, but sadly i can't, all i can do is support you through this time, and you will get through it i promise. As hard as it is now you're stronger than you think and you will get through it babe.I'm always here for you and please feel free to message me anytime you feel the need and i promise to reply. My thoughts are with you and your family and i pray that the end is peaceful and pain free for John. Take care sweetie i'm here if you need me anytime love and big (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) mel xxx
evening Kate, just wondered how you got on today? Did you ring the chemo care number? and did the lemsip max work? Hope you're feeling a bit better tonight and that your mum has had a comfortable day. Take care love and ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) mel xxx
Had a restless night with Darryl as he has been crying alot in the night but has just setled down, so thought i would log on and see if anyone was about? Darryl seems to have got very worried about seeing his oncologist on tues (tom) as he's sure that he is going to give us bad news. I must admit Darryl has seemed very tired the last few days and has started coughing again, but has no temperature. He said he feels he has got worse, but i'm wondering if he's worrying because when we saw his onco 4 weeks ago he told us Darryl's cancer had spread to his spine. Iv'e tried to assure Darryl that he should try to not think about tuesday and we'll cross that bridge if, and when, we come to it, but he is convinced that he has got worse. Anything i say is not helping really. It must be awful for him as he is suffering from this terrible disease, whilst i am only seeing it from the outside. Please if anyone else out there can let me know if they have been through similar could you let me know what you did to help!! i'm so desperate and am now thinking is it maybe true that Darryl has got worse, as he knows his body better than me, and do people with cancer know when they are getting worse, or is it just Darryl worrying? I truely hope someone can help me as i'm really upset that Darryl is in such a state and i can't do anything to help the poor man! PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN HERE ME PLEASE PLEASE HELP! love mel xxx
