Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
It's so good to hear from you. I'm glad you're ok and that all is well with you and Caz.
Lets hope she has some luck with her audition and please let me know when you hear any news won't you?
I will be counting my chickens for her! lol Not sure how many i got now though as more pop in, but i don't mind as always good to hear from new people just a shame as to the circumstances eh?
I didn't see Buster at the marathon must have been when i was making tea or cooking dinner but, wow, what an achievement just to be in it at 103!!! Certainly puts me to shame now!!! lol
I hope you are having a nice evening love and hugs mother hen mel xxxxx
Dear Mother Hen Mel, of course I will post and let folks know when I know anything myself, this waiting is just the pits, don't you agree?
Good for you, having done that running, I just wasn't the running type, but have struggled round the 5k light ladies challenge in Hyde Park a couple of times.....
love to you and any little chick who happens to peep in....
I look forward to hearing from you regarding how Caz got on. The waiting is the hardest part i agree, but i hope she has done well, and send lots of good luck happy mellymoo fairy dust to her! lol
At school i also did gymnastics and went to crystal palace representing the school in a schools comp. Did quite well and came fourth so not too bad out of the hundreds who entered! But that was back in the good old 70's so don't think i'll be any good at all that now, my joints are not as good as they used to be! lol We also owned 16 horses so was very actice when i was young not so much now though don't do any sports now only exercise i do is running round after Darryl, Daley and Kirsty!!! Plus taking our beagle for walks! lol
It's surprising how you change isn't it, when you have family to look after? I would love to take up riding again but can't afford a horse and wouldn't see the point in having lessons as already know how to ride. I do miss it though, best years of my life with the horses when i was young as the rest of my childhood was rubbish! But thats not for here. Me and my sister paid for them ourselves by fruit picking and missing school, they were good old days though! lol
hope your feeling ok today, and darryl is having a good day.
i didnt watch the marathon, but guess what i did watch.........................the footy!! well done man u!!!, aww poor arsenal lol lol
teresa sends her love to everyone and asked how you all are, she trying to sort out her internet tonight, so hopefully she can get it working. seems strange without her posts dont it? she said our michaela is on day 3 of treatment oepa and copp, she not in so much pain today, so thats good eh bless her, i too have been looking at the moon at 10pm and sending loving vibes to you and everyone.
hope your'e resting and taking things a bit easier so you get better (but by the sounds of things youv'e still been busy), naughty naughty mama hen lol
how do you feel now mel? any better?????? hope so!
its dannys birthday today, he is 10 bless him, hes had his party at ten pin bowling, he and his 6 friends, and all the family had a great time (sure will enjoyed it more than the kids lol), then i did a buffet for tea time with all the family, been a lovely day, but still very emotional as mum and dad not here (but know they are in spirit) bless them!! mel, danny had me in tears last night, we were talking about his birthday (last one with mum here in 06), and saying how sad things are now, he looked right at me and said "mum you dont need to worry, i know nan and grandad will be with me tomorrow for my birthday, and there always with me and all of us", bless his little heart.
anyway hun, enjoy the rest of your evening lots of love and hugs your chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxx
My goodness, Mother Hen Mel, you were very sporty! I did more after leaving than at school, started climbing and rock climbing, too, gave that up when i met the other half....haha, he has a poor head for heights but I have got him hill walking which we both love and hope to get back to when his back improves after his back op, only 7 weeks ago yet so still a long way to go....
Dear Karen, I do try to look out at the moon and send vibes all ways, but there always seem to be clouds.... still, I do send vibes.....please give Teresa my love and some too for Michaela, and Kate and her Mum too, and of course Mother Hen Mel, you are of course getting love from me, too....any other chickies too... night night, all.
So good to hear from you!! I have been quite busy again but it keeps me active! lol I get my test results tuesday so will let you know how they go ok.
Shame man utd won the footie was hoping arsenal would.. but not really that worried as Chelsea's more important! lol
I'm glad Teresa is okish and hopefully may hear from her tonight then but if we don't do send my love to her won't you and tell her i miss her lots? I agree it does seem strange without her. infact, i'd go as far as saying it's very quiet! lol She did make me laugh on more than one occaision and she is sorely missed.
Happy birthday to Danny! they grow up so quickly don't they? seems like only yesterday Daley was 10 and he's 24 this year! lol I'm glad you all had a lovely day, and it's funny how the dads always seem to have more fun than the kids, Darryl is very much like that. When the kids were young and it snowed enough for sledging he used to use the kids as crash test dummys on a sledging run then when he knew it was safe you couldn't get him off it!! there was the kids standing around feezing saying is it our turn yet and Darryl sledging up and down saying yeah in a minute!!!! lol He's a big kid at heart!!
It bought a lump to my throat what Danny said about his nan and grandad that was so sweet bless him. It's nice that they got to know their grandparents too, as Daley and Kirsty don't remember their grandad as he died of kidney failure when they were very young.
Anyway i hope you sleep well tonight with all the excitement of the day and hope to hear from you very soon love and hugs mother hen mel xxxxx
