Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Rach, Mel,Jo,Karen,Lynne,helen,Kim,juls Donna and everyone else forgive me if i missed anyone, Teresa chick, Michaela xxxxxxxxxxx
Dear all Thankyou so much for all your love and support, what would I do without you all? xxxxxxx
Well what a couple of days, feels surreal, update on DB firstly, another tough day, another rollercoaster ride, scared to jinx things but DB tonight is improveing, had us panicking again today but tonight doing better, Lovely nurse called lynne is careing for her tonight on icu, and has told us to sleep well, she will call immediatley if any change
I will never ever forget the look on mums face when i stroked her face today and she opened her eyes it was of sheer joy to see us, she explained how she had come round in the recovery room and thought yipee im still alive, pray she continues to improve she aint ready to leave yet,
Now last night ......ha ha....What can I say after such a harrowing day I foolishly hit the sauce, which made a terrible situation 100 times worse.......Emotional, No food,No sleep and only Mr Smirnoff for company !! was convinced mac had banned me, couldnt see they had changed the site till Lynne put me straight, had poor Rach posting - thanks likkle sis, Jo was reading your post, shouting shes so right at pc, can laugh now, Mel poor you, thanks babe only thing I can remember from our chat was your lovely accent, Karen vaguely remember pm ing you, you too Lynne, sorry all i was ratted, drunk as a skunk !!!!!!!!!! Hope you all forgive me, sticking to tea from now on i promise ha ha xxxxxxxxxx As rooster Mick and the fast show would say "I was very very drunk at the time" ha ha
I am so tired now will read my pms in morning and try my best to catch up on you all Pray you are all haveing good days Love Love each and every one of you, will update you when I can Naughty chikky Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
oh thats great that our duracell bunny is on the up, hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hope your feeling bit better, been praying for you all and have kept you in my thoughts all day. get some rest babe speak soon love ya, buckets and buckets of love and hugs chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey chikky Karen babes Im a barmpot arent I. i must drive you all nuts, sorry mate Before I shut my eyes could you give me a quickie update on everyone? I worry and care Michaela? darryl, Rob, caz, Richard, the lovely Kim and of course you babes all ok?
well on second thoughts........................ you might be a bit barmy..............lol hee hee love ya babe, nite nite, sleep tight love and hugs karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh, Kate, thank goodness you found your way back on here, hope you don't have too much of a hangover.....and hope your dear DB carries on picking up strength, do get some rest, love.....
Teresa, I do hope all is as well as it can be for you and your dear Michaela......
Karen, thank you for keeping us all updated on here.....love to you....
Dear Mother Hen Mel, I guess you are now off on your break in Welsh Wales, have a great time.....
Hi My Dear Chickies Kate, Katen, Teresa, Helen, Jo, Rachael, and rooster Mick, also anyone else i may have forgotton!!!
Well it has been a busy few days for all of us by the sound of it! Sorry i wasn't about yesterday only Darryl had lots of visitors so was doing my duty and keeping everyone topped up with tea coffee and entertainment!! lol
My dear Kate i'm so pleased our DB doing so well, if she carries on like that it won't be long before she's home with you all again soon bless her! You ring me whenever you need to babe and glad you liked my accent! Surprising how many people ask me what part of London i come from when i'm a Kentish Maid!!!! lol
My dear Karen you're doing a good job as usual being a surrogate mother hen you really keep this thread going in my absence and for that i am eternally grateful! I hope you Will and the boys have had a good day. Did you watch the London marathon on tv today? I did and it wore me out just watching! lol To think when i was young i belonged to an athletics club and could run 100 metres in 13 secs! don't think i could do it in 13 mins now!!! lol All them fags i smoke me thinks!
Karen can you tell Teresa if you hear from her before me that i have been thinking of her and our Michaela and i hope they are both ok and that iv'e still been looking at the moon and thinking of them both and i send lots of love and big huggles to them both. I look forward to hearing from Teresa when she gets back on line but in the mean time iv'e been thinking of them both lots and miss her banter on here very much! lol
Helen how is Caz today and how did she get on with her scan and audition? I'm not on holiday until the 10th-17th may so i'm still around at the mo. We're staying in Ammonford with a couple of our friends, so be nice to get away for a little while just be us 4 adults and no kids so be fun i expect!!! lol I hope you are well and that you have had a good day so far?
Rooster Mick hope you're being good and having a good day too... I said had a good day too!!! lol
Rachael and Jo hope you are both well and that your day has been good. Have you done anything interesting today?
Hope to hear from you all soon you all take care my little chickis and rooster Mick love and big hugs mother hen mel xxxxx
Hello, Mother Hen Mel and all your other little chickies, it was good to hear from you.... Caz did her audition and was fairly pleased, but she said, and I quote, 'I'm not counting my chickens', hahahaha! she got taken out afterwards and praised, but she will wait without bated breath! I too watched the Marathon, feeling very old and was embarrassed looking at dear old 101 yrs Buster who was determined to do it, not sure if he got round....love to all....
