My mum was diagnosed with bile duct cancer about 6 weeks ago, and I feel like I’ve been numb ever since finding out. I have felt sad and cried A LOT, but I live quite far away so I feel there’s this distance between me and the reality of it all.
My dad has obviously kept me in the loop, but since having the diagnosis, and the chemo starting, I feel like I don’t know what’s going on. I haven’t had a single conversation with my mum about it, which I do understand she probably doesn’t want to talk about it, but I just feel so distant from her.
I’ve been to visit them both at home, my dad is being amazing, and I’ve seen the reality of how she’s feeling (no appetite, being sick, really low) but we hardly talked.
I don’t know what stage it is, I don’t really know what the treatment plan is apart from chemo, I just don’t really know what I’m dealing with and it feels awful. I’m trying not to be selfish but I feel like I’m being kept in the dark. I want to respect my parents decisions and feelings about it all but it is awful to be constantly worrying about what might happen and speculating situations in my head because I have no answers.
I feel like I’m living a totally different life from the one I was living a month ago. I’m so sorry to anyone else going through this.
