Hi,
My mam's been poorly for a few weeks now, Doctors thought it was gallbladder blockage but further scans/tests have shown it to be pancreatic cancer . She's scheduled for ERCP on the 22nd & further tests to see it it's spread. Myself & my sisters are all it shock as our mam's otherwise always been mostly fit & well for 67 year old. Im just looking for some support/advise on how best to support my mam & sisters . Also struggling as my mam doesn't want her grandchildren or extended family to know yet as shes trying to process it all herself & doesn't want to worry them until we know what stage it is & if its operable, which so far the doctors seem to think it is but can't confirm until these other tests are done. Im finding it all very stressful, not sleeping well .
Hi Blue23
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
Sorry to hear about your mam, while it is always a shock to get a cancer diagnosis when it comes out of the blue like this is can be extra challenging.
It sounds like your nan is being fairly sensible with planning how to tell the extended family when things are clearer, it can be quite tiring getting people asking questions when nobody has an answer.
People often talk about how they want to help others, I know what I overlooked perhaps was how to help myself and something I found quite helpful was looking at your feelings when someone has cancer as being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as normal and valid helped to make them less overwhelming.
Later I did a living with less stress course. A big element was trying to live in the here and now and appreciate what we have as I was painting a black future I had no control over and often imagining things worse that actually happened. The conscious breathing exercises were great for helping me relax and when some bad news came then helped me respond as positivly as possible.
You might find it helpful to have a chat with your GP about how you feel, mine was very helpful with things like giving me a break from work when I was being overwhelmed.
Fingers crossed for good news from the tests.
<<hugs>>
Steve
