My Mum has lost all motivation and purpose

Hi all,

I'm hoping that what I'm going to say doesn't come across as selfish or mean but it comes from a place of genuine love. My mum was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumour in August (Glioblastoma) and she's since had a plethora of surgery, radiotherapy and chemo. She's doing better than we could have hoped and responding so well despite a poor prognosis. As a result she had to give up her career of 40+ years which she's really struggled with as she loved it so much and I feel as if she is understandably feeling very lost and having a bit of an identity crisis, she often hides a lot of her emotion which makes it worse. She was amazing at her job and tied a lot of self worth to it. Sometimes I look at her now and I don't recognise her anymore and although it sounds harsh I feel like I'm looking at an elderly woman. I get frustrated with her because I feel as if she has given up with certain things that I know would make her feel better (self care etc). Part of my frustration I think is just grief that I've lost a version of my mum that'll never get back and I want her so badly to return to who she was. She struggles a lot with motivation and sometimes just aimlessly scrolls on Facebook all day. I want to help her so badly but when I suggest things sometimes she just thinks I'm nagging her and will get annoyed. It's just a horrible part of the disease that I was so unprepared for. I think she would benefit from receiving help to help her start to accept things and have suggested a local brain tumour support group near us that but she says that she's not ready yet. I cannot imagine how lonely she feels and I guess I'm writing this because I so badly want to help her. Of course I am viewing this from an outside perspective but she often reminds me of myself when I really struggled with my own mental health and I just gave up on everything. As she's had no choice but to give up work she's also given up on herself and life and the terminal prognosis doesn't help either. I just don't know how to help her. I feel as if she's in the middle of a black hole and I want to pull her out before it's too late. We don't have very much time left together and even though I know that I will never get 100% of what she was like before back I know that hopefully the clouds will part and it'll get easier. Also hoping that once spring comes and she can feel the warmth of the sun again and see her flowers blooming it may help just a little bit. All this comes from a place of love and I hope none of it sounds too mean as I am only trying to advocate for her when she isn't herself.

If anyone has any ideas or advice it would be much appreciated xx