Rage - young family & cancer

Hi all. 

it’s been a year since my husband (38) has been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. It came back after a mole was removed. He has just finished a year of immunotherapy and prog paid is very very good. We were so lucky. 

however. Because of his treatment & fertility uncertainty. We decided to try for our second and final child. I fell pregnant very quickly and had a bad pregnancy. So both of us were sick and trying to work and mind our three year old. Birth was great. Baby is great. But the stress on me to do most of the minding has resulted in gastritis & just being in constant pain, teeth grinding, post partum anxiety & depression. But I just have to keep pushing through. I’ve had to call ambulances for my husband in the middle of the night & leave him in hospital while minding the kids. It’s just been so hard. 

He has finished his treatment, come off the steroids & has started back at the gym & stopped working to recover. But I’m so filled with rage. It’s probably still post partum but also if ge gets any bit of a cold from our toddler in preschool, he drops back down and can’t break through. I just don’t know if it’s man flu or the cancer treatment. I’m just so angry with him all the time. 

I hired help in the immediate post partum but both of us are bringing in no money now and we can’t afford it. My parents are great but are retired and go on holidays a lot. I don’t have any other family close by and his family are in another country and are more stress for me when they come over to “help” 

im

just 

so 

tired 

and 

ANGRY