Feel like my husbands just giving up!

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Hi everyone really need a rant and I feel like I just dont have anyone to talk to. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer and lung mets August 2022 age 40, hes had 9 months of chemo, 25 sessions of radiotherapy n a lung resection. He decided to try natural remedies after his lung resection in Jan 2024 as they noticed abnormal lymph nodes and couldnt do his other lung and could only offer chemo which hes determined never 2 go on again! He was stable up untill Feb this year which showed liver mets, every scan since then has revealed more bad news and he barely eats and is loosing so much weight but he still refuses treatment! He's not even doing any of the natural remedies now either and hes gone back to smoking cannabis. Hes really angry all of the time and in alot of pain we have 3 children and im worried how his anger effects them mentally as its a struggle 4 me. He's not violent just nasty words but they hurt and I feel like we walk round on egg shells all the time as we dont no how hes gonna b from 1 day 2 the nxt. He's very secretive about his scans so no-one nos how bad his cancer is and I feel like I cant tell anyone as id be going behind his back but I dont no wat 2 do or how 2 help him, I feel like im failing him because hes wasting away b4 my eyes. He has a mate who encourages him 2 smoke aswell which annoys me i just cant get my head around y u wud n courage a cancer patient 2 smoke especially wen he has lung mets n half a lung missing! I feel really angry because he promised me he wud never smoke again after his lung op n hes not bothered about how me and our kids feel. Has anyone been through a similar situation? I totally understand that hes struggling mentally and physically hes constantly in pain i also feel likes hes never accepted the cancer diagnosis as being terminal. Thanku for reading Sparkling heart

  • Hi  

    Wow that does sound like it is really difficult but so glad you were able to rant on here. Of course some people with a terminal diagnosis get to the point of not worrying about the effects of anything as they feel they are going to did anyway and indeed sometimes even the doctors can give medecines that might not normally be used in someone not terminal.

    How old are your children? Our son was about 8 when Janice was first ill and we were really lucky to get some great support from his schools. 

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thanku for ur reply my children are now 15,13 and 9. We've been going through this for 3 years now. The schools helped in the beginning but I think its like everyone bcuz its been 3 years people stop bothering and helping they forget ur still fighting this horrible disease and the thing is its worst than it was in the beginning.

  • Must be so difficult for you and the children to see him suffering like this

  • Yes it really is! Cancers evil  wouldn't wish it on anyone