The husband of one of my closest friends has just been diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. My husband died of esophageal cancer 10 years ago this month. This has brought back very distressing memories for me. I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed but at the same time want to be present for her.
I can't tell if she is being overly optimistic/in denial or if I am projecting my own experience onto her but her husband's cancer seems very aggressive - he was only diagnosed two days ago and already has metastasis in the liver whereas my husband lived for 15 months after diagnosis. Her husband looks and sounds like my husband did in the weeks preceding his death.
I think it would have been easier to manage if it had been a different sort of cancer.
Has anyone else been through something similar and have any advice on how to be able to listen and support her without being overwhelmed by my own emotions?
Hi Luna15852b3c
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
Sorry to hear about your husband and your friends husband, my experience of cancer is different in that it is my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma.
You are right that it is very difficult to compare any two cases of cancer and even experts find ti hard to know how things progress.
Something I find quite useful is to look at your feelings when someone has cancer as being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as normal can help to make them a bit less overwhelming.
<<hugs>>
Steve
