Friend, over reacting? or do previous deaths all add up....and accumulate grief.....

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Reading some of the posts I feel like a fraud posting here...but it seems to me that sometimes grief builds up one death after the other.....

A very good friend of mine who I have known for 30 years has just been diagnosed with cancer 4th stage.... palliative care recommended or chemo to ''prolong'' life .....I found out this a few days ago - and just feel devastated. It is triggering many memories and previous traumas..... my mum and grandma died of cancer when I was 18...then my dad and grandad died - for other reasons before I was 23.... a friend died of cancer in our 40's and my brother died of cancer 3 years ago.

My friend has been a thread through my life, I am single, no kids and I am just wondering what is the point of it all. We have talked many thousands of times about how pointless it all is and how to get around that....we saw/talked to each other practically every week for the last 25 years and we met doing a yoga teacher training course in 1992.

I know a friend is not a relative but it is sending me into deep depression and already feeling grief - and counter to this is the feeling that people will think I am over reacting.

Sad tonight,

Thanks for reading.

MaryChar2046 4 hours ago

Your friend would not want you to be depressed, I know I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, and If I had died I would have hated my dearest friend of 40 years to be depressed. It sounds as though you have had an awful time with many deaths of family members. It must be so hard to lose your Mum and Dad, and also your brother, but they would say to you "Please live life to the full, just because we are gone, we want you to be happy and live a good life". You are not over reacting, of course you will feel so sad when your lovely friend dies, but she also would say the same "Life goes on, so please make the most of it". There is a point in life, the point in life is loving, and that means forgetting about ourselves, and loving others. I now volunteer at my local hospice, and by forgetting about me, and putting others first has made life so worthwhile. I know life is not easy, it is so hard at time, we all go through bad times, but be strong, you will get there. xx

Megg108bfd6f2 4 hours ago in reply to MaryChar2046

Thank you. I'm feeling very sad at the moment so I guess I need to differentiate somehow between depression and sadness. But life sucks sometimes. Thank you for your response.

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Friend, over reacting? or do previous deaths all add up....and accumulate grief.....