In May this year my husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. It has spread to his bones and spinal cord resulting in spinal cord compression. He was in hospital for two months and is home now. He cannot stand, walk, control his bodily functions. Monthly degarilix injections are keeping the prostate cancer at bay but we have no idea about the metastasis. He is beginning to experience more aches and pains especially when laying down in bed.
I have no idea how to help him manage day to day. Consultant has told me the progression is unpredictable so she cannot say how or what to expect other than he will not be able to walk again. This is news my husband refuses to accept and he tries very hard everyday to lift himself from his wheelchair, getting increasingly frustrated with his lack of ability to stand. He is having physio but the therapist are cautious and only allow him to move from bed to wheelchair on a transfer board or by being hoisted. Our GP has prescribed him some anti depressants to help lift his mood.
I am struggling to get to grips with the situation and keep having to tell myself this is the way things are now. I just can’t believe that he will not get better and recover from this horrible situation. Like him, I just want it to go away.
How do you help someone when you, as the wife/carer can’t quite come to terms with the situation? any advice would be greatly welcomed and appreciated, thank you.
Hi Teatowel
I know what you mean about coming to term with the situation if we are going to help the person we love. I came close to breaking before I first walked in to our local Maggies and initially we managed to get things sorted for at least a couple of weeks.
Later I did a living with less stress course with them and it helped me to focus on what we have rather than a future I could not control but could imagine all sorts of things that could go wrong. Then of course there were things that did happen that I could never have guessed.
It can help to share on here and remember you can always ring the helpline for an instant fix too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
