Drowning

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Hi,

5 weeks ago, my life changed. My mum got diagnosed with bladder cancer, aggressive cells. Was very much a shock, time feels like it has stood still since then.

I, the only girl, feel a sense of guilt I never have before due to living away from home and not able to be there to care for her.
Mum is going to surgery on Tuesday to have many organs removed in hope of a good outcome. I am beyond worried and more than anything scared. It’s a long surgery with multiple weeks in hospital afterwards.
does it ever get easier? Will the guilt leave?

Hoffnung 38 minutes ago

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. The suddenness and shock sounds so tough for you both.

I'm also an only daughter. My mum was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in December, so nearly seven months ago now. The diagnosis came as a complete shock for us both.

I quit my job to care for my mum. While it's been great to see her gradually regaining a sense of health and hope, there have also been dark days when I felt lost, worried about finances and guilty for spreading myself too thin between caring for my mum and my children. So, in answer to your question whether it gets easier, perhaps there are no perfect solutions. Or if there are, I have yet to find them.

I totally relate to the sense of time standing still that you describe and also the sense of guilt and fear. My mum is due to have major surgery at the end of this month. There are days when I feel hopeful that after her surgery we can all move on with our lives and get off this emotional rollercoaster, other times I am afraid that this diagnosis of uncertainty will never end. Either way, I suspect the experience has been life-changing and profound in ways I have yet to fully comprehend.

Wishing you and your mum all the best and a positive outcome.

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