I can’t quite believe I’m posting on a cancer forum, but here we are. I’m not expecting any replies, but felt it might be therapeutic to type it all out.
My 59 year old Mum has been living with advanced breast cancer for almost 4 years. Upon diagnosis she responded well to chemotherapy, and begun hormone treatments. The mass in her liver went, and in her lung it shrunk too. She had a mastectomy and 5 lymph nodes removed, however when the mastectomy took place they noticed the tumour invaded the chest wall more than they thought, but believed they removed it all with good margins. December 2024 she had radiotherapy for a small mass on the chest wall that developed, as well as a recent biopsy ?March time. She has been having Herceptin throughout as well as some tablets at some point I’m not sure on. They were discussing starting Phesgo.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago she developed shingles and was quite unwell. Stayed at home, had antiviral tablets. I went in to see her once a week last 2 weeks and although she looked unwell, I wasn’t concerned as I thought it was the shingle virus. She lives alone in a bungalow with my 16 year old brother (who she has never told of her diagnosis). Yesterday she was admitted to a respiratory ward in a different hospital to her normal, for a large pleural effusion + collapsed lung. Her sats are okay and required minimal oxygen but she is breathless especially on exertion. The chest CT revealed the mass has grown, and I know it’s likely it’s now invading the pleural space. They did not insert a drain as it is out of hours. They have referred her to palliative care. Is this really the start of the end? I’m not ready to lose my Mum yet, I stupidly thought we had more time. I’m 29 with a 5 year old and 3 year old twins. This cannot be the near of the end. Google told me the average is 5 months, why did I google? I barely slept last night, ruminating thoughts over and over.
Hi all
I hope you don't mind me popping in here. Thank you for all the support you are sharing.
We noticed that you'd mentioned having trouble sleeping and we wanted to make sure you have the support you need. If you might find it helpful to have a chat through the night, the Online Community is always open. We are trying to make it easier for members to connect and chat with each other, whether it be 3pm or 3am.
We have created a new thread in the Cancer Chat forum to help bring members together in a place where they can chat through the night.
It's a new thread, so it might take some time to build a Community of members who support each other. We hope you might consider joining the conversation.
We also have a Macmillan Support Line if you would like to talk things through with someone who is there to listen. Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
Thanks all and do let us know if you have any questions.
