hi everyone ..
on friday my husband was admitted to hospital very ill...apparently the second dose of immunotherapy had caused massive inflammation and infection ,,which cause the remaining lung on his left side to deflate ..
hes been on steroid and antibiotic infusions since then and seems to be improving ,,hes on oxygen but they have been reducing the amount he has slowly ..
we have been told the cancer has spread to his vocal chords and in his chest and hes at stage 4 with his cancer .....
the shock is awful for both of us and we have been told that radiotherapy is being considered now just to give him more time ...cant complain about the care hes receiving but at the same time i just dont know what to do ...self pity is easy but it doesnt help to get to grips with the situation ...
i feel lost and resentful of the cancer taking over our life and i also feel selfish for wanting more time ..its hard to be positive when you feel like your foundation is being eroded ...my kids have been fantastic and and we are coping as best we can...
im trying to to support my husband so i hide a lot of how i feel ,,i dont want him to feel guilty about anything as its not his fault that this godawful disease has taken over our life ...guess ill be looking for more bruce lee films to watch ..i do find that dark humour helps and if i see one more inspirational quote about overcoming lifes challenges on my social media i will probably say something i shouldnt !!! ...
its a challenge we are both trying to deal with as best we can ...im trying to balance his needs and mine ...being able to vent on here helps me so much ..i always think if you can vocalise fear ir seems to lose its scariness .....
as for the cancer well we are in the hands of the specialists and they are doing everything they are doing everything they can to help ..i find it easier to write how i feel than talk because talking to people makes me cry and im not ready for that yet
hope everyone has a good day today
