Hi guys, not sure if this is the right place or what to even say but I feel I just need to vent.
Found out yesterday that my mum has breast cancer and I don’t even know how it’s made me feel. We don’t live close and her partner let me know as soon as he could.
I don’t even know how I’m feeling right now. Sad, helpless, guilty we weren’t always close, guilty I can’t be there for her right now despite all our ups and downs. I don’t know.
she is having tests to see how bad it is and her partner and my grandmother have told me not to go and see her ( she’s at the opposite end of the country) until we know what we are dealing with which should be by the middle of the week. From what I’ve heard her calcium levels are sky high and this could mean it’s spread to her bones but not sure.
I managed to speak to her briefly last night and it broke me. She kept saying how sorry she was and think it’s the first time I’ve cried in about 15 years. Completely broke me. As I’m writing this I’m trying to keep it all together and stay strong but can feel the tears welling up. I don’t know what to do. I live alone and don’t really have anyone to speak to so it’s just me and my head right now and its tough.
any advice would be appreciated as I’ve never had to deal with anything like this and don’t know what the right thing to do or feel is :(
