My dad has had metastatic cancer for 5 years but has suddenly really declined in health. He was recently in hospital and has been diagnosed with brain mets. I found Christmas incredibly hard to see how much he’s slowed down and can’t do. He’s in his own little world most of the time and isn’t always clear when he speaks to you. Most sad of all his how much stength he’s lost in his legs. He’s really struggling to use stairs now. My heart is breaking and you can tell from his actions he’s preparing himself for death. I don’t know what to do for the best - my mum is struggling with it a lot, I have a full time job which requires a lot of thinking and problem solving and I go between wanting to take time off and for things to be normal. Does anyone have any ideas or thoughts on what to do
Hi Saznaz88
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it as useful as I have. My experience is with my wife with cancer, in her case stable but incurable but at the moment no changes in the last 10 years.
Something many find on here is that we need to find someway of looking after ourselves, a starter can be looking at your feelings when someone has cancer and I know I recognize a lot of the feelings I had. The power of recognizing the emotions and accepting them as normal can help make them feel less overwhelming. Typing on here can help but also sometimes speaking to someone on the helpline can be useful.
I know sometimes I found work quite reassuring in that it did feel normal but sometimes I am not sure I was totally effective though sometimes I found others who were in a similar position.
Have your parents had a needs and a carers assessment? It can be helpful to find out the support they are able to get - see here.
<<hugs>>
Steve
