Hi I'm new to this group and joined because a very close friend has stage 4 oesophagus cancer that has spread,diagnosed in February, they have finished chemo recently that has reduced slightly the tumor but not had any effect on the spread into liver. I'm finding it really hard and am very emotional currently, having just spent some time with them celebrating a birthday, my friends wife is my best friend and has been coping amazingly and until recently didn't want to talk much about it but has now started to say this is likely to be the last time but stops herself finishing the sentence, I don't know how to be around her as I feel like I'm about to break down and not sure id be able to stop and dont want her to feel she has to comfort me, and then feel a rubbish friend ,.I just feel so flipping sad, spending time with them and their family is a privledge, thinking about them all is so very painful and im so mad ....im normally a positive person who knows what to say and how to help, she's the one I would normally reach out to... I think I'm not doing so well because it takes me back to when I helped care for my Nan when she had lung cancer, I was there almost everyday for 9 months, its the most horrific roller coaster ride that you'd do anything to stop and get off but know you can't
I'm hoping to perhaps receive a little guidance from others who have or are going through something similar, if anyone is able to reply, I will greatly appreciate it.
Thank you
Hi LucyLkt welcome to the forum and sorry that. you have not had a response as yet. It sounds to me that you are being a really good friend but that you are sad and thats ok, the situation is sad and people affected by this are ok to be sad. You are right about the rollercoaster ride, it does feel like that. You also have a memory there of looking after your Nan and that may be making you more emotional as this is also sad and a loss which has affected you deeply but it is different and could potentially have a different outcome from your Nan, so hang in there. Please also remember its ok to cry and its ok to be sad you would not be human if you didnt feel either. xxx
gail
