My mum passed away 9 months ago after having stage 4 Kidney cancer for 18 months. She went downhill very quickly. She was doing well on weekend, we were called in to hospital on Monday, told she was dying. She had her 51st birthday on the Thursday and died on the Friday. I am 23. I don't know how to cope without her. My wedding is really soon, and I am completely devastated that she will not be there.
I am fixated on the idea of someone else zipping up my wedding dress on the morning of. I have a good relationship with my MIL but I feel like she, along with others have kind of all forgotten about it happening. Everyone speaks about the wedding all of the time, stupid details like what pajamas they are going to wear the night before and I genuinely could not care less. I feel angry and bitter, and abandoned. I know mum did not choose to go, but I still need her, and feel some angriness at the fact that she has left me.
I am angry at everyone. I don't even like going to my parent in law's house recently, and I think its because the happy family image is winding me up, and making me feel even more of an odd one out. I have the most amazing fiance, he is a gift from above, and Mum ADORED him. But he doesn't get it. His mum isn't dead. She calls him 4 times a day, his life is the same. Mine has been ruined.
Needed to rant, sorry for outburst. Demanding job also means no time to breathe.
