Hi, 2 weeks ago my Dad received a terminal Stage 4 small cell cancer diagnosis after a fall in the garden, he never does things by halves. He is currently in hospital and being looked after, basically because he has a broken pelvis, due to the fall and the cancer in his bones.
I live 6 hours away and have been staying with my Mum for nearly 4 weeks now, I really need to get back to work for the obvious reasons, but family comes first. My problem is that my Mum has undiagnosed dementia and COPD. The hospital are trying to help me get her looked at and it's like hitting my head against a brick wall. I think Mum has been going down hill for a while and my Dad as basically her carer, has buried his head in the sand. This is the longest time I've spent with my mum over recent years, they used to live near us, pre-pandemic, and then moved.
I'm trying to help my dad and support him with everything he needs but I get asked by the hospital not to bring mum to appointments that may confuse her and I can't tell her as she would get very upset and can be not as nice.
I'm doing all of this myself, my husband and family are over 6 hours away, work and school and my only sister lives in Canada, so no useful help there...
I feel like I'm going round in circles, trying to get a safe home for when, hopefully, dad gets home. But I'm also having to speak to Adult Social Care and Doctors surgeries, their surgery isn't a great help. it's all very lonely.
Dad should be having his fist round of Chemo/immunotherapy today, fingers crossed that goes well.
Thank you for reading.
Hi Paicer
Welcome to our community though so sorry to hear what you are going through, not at all surprised that you are feeling as you do. I know at one time with everything that happened to us at the time I felt very similar until I walked in to my local Maggie's centre and cried out everything that was going on. Talking to them I realized something had to give and the easiest option there was work, I spoke to my GP who signed me off for a month there and then
We have certainly experienced the run around in hospitals, everyone does their best but it does seem different departments simply do not talk to each other and of course there is little in the way of holistic care. One GP even said to me that hospitals ignore them just as much as it seems they ignore carers. One thing that can sometimes help is the PALS service
<<hugs>>
Steve
