Don't think I am coping very well.

Hi notagain3 

I almost lost my wife to sepsis even before she was, eventually, diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma so totally get the idea of being prepared for the worst and then being called back from the brink.

We have quite a good page on anticipatory grief that I think matches quite nicely with your "already taken him" comment.

I did a living with less stress course that really helped me, friends though often feel very uncomfortable talking about cancer - not the easiest conversation point though in the last could of years I have lost friends to all sorts of reasons, including one who has a massive heart attack.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thank you ever so much for taking time to reply, I will take a look at the link and also look at maybe doing the course too. Some days I feel so strong and today cried buckets, its an awful situation  thanks again and sending you good wishes

So sorry to hear you're struggling. Crying when you're feeling overwhelmed is normal and understandable. Permit yourself to feel what you're feeling - you don't need to have it all together right now.

Dear notagain3,

I think you are coping well!  You are a human being, frail as your husband but in a different way. Openly accept your feelings of anger, it is against your husband’s illness, the frustrations of being a carer and and because you are emotionally drained. How do I know this feeling? My partner died from a rare and horrible neuro-degenerative disease 3 months ago. I had cared for him for the four years of his illness. During that time he had a ruptured spleen, a stroke, sepsis, Covid and lymphoma. I often told him how much I loved him and how much I hated his illness! Try to take breaks when you can. Even a twenty minute walk a day will help, maybe whilst your husband is snoozing. Your friends and family will be admiring your love and care and will understand your frustrations I’m sure. They may feel sad that they are unable to help as much as they would like. Listening to you, however you feel will help you all. Carry on caring … and shouting… you are being wonderful!

Thank you so so much for your words, they mean a lot and I am sorry to hear what you have been through. Yesterday my husband was taken to hospital with covid and sepsis, he is doing ok and I am doing ok, just another set back. I will keep reading your message it has made me think differently Thank you x

Thank you so much x

Oh no! Another mountain to climb! You are in my thoughts. Lean heavily on your support network and try to rest and have a change of scene whilst your husband is being cared for elsewhere. It is so important to guard your own physical and mental health so that you can support your husband. You are doing a wonderful job! You are not called to be perfect, just good enough!