In March 2019, my beloved daddy lost his short (he passed away from terminal lung cancer 6 months after he was diagnosed) , but very bravely fought battle with terminal lung cancer due to smoking. He was only 63 years old. I miss and think about him every day. It'll be 5 years this year since my nanna (my late dad's late mum) came for my daddy (that's how my mum told me that my daddy had passed away and that's how I like to remember my daddy passing away as I know that my daddy wasn't alone. Recently, I don't know what caused me to star worrying about it, I have been worrying about getting cancer. It's not getting the diagnosis, but losing my hair due to the treatments for cancer as I have very long hair, which I love and i know that my nanna and daddy loved my long hair. I am the only one out of me n my 2 two sisters (we also have a younger brother, but he has short hair) who still has long hair as my middle sister cuts her own hair. I think that she also goes to the hairdressers from time to time when she can as she works as a cleaner in a few town in the area of North Wales where she lives with her partner and their 2 sons. My brother-in-law, my middle sister's partner also works as he works in the local library. my 2 nephews also work. I know my eldest nephew works in McDonalds, but I'm not sure where my youngest nephew works.
Hello Nannasgirl1982
I am very sorry to hear that you have lost your Dad to cancer and also that your Nanna also passed away. For Dad to be diagnosed and to go so quickly must have been really hard for you and your family.
I would say that it is perfectly natural to worry about getting cancer yourself after experiencing it in a loved one. Cancer can come along suddenly and knock you sideways - that was the case for me- and that is scary- one moment you can feel ok and then a diagnosis can change everything- for the cancer sufferer themselves and also for their families. It can happen to anyone and something I noticed during my many appointments is that there can at times seem no rhyme or reason to it- it seems random at times- I saw people of all ages, shapes and sizes, all different circumstances- but one thing in common - they were experiencing cancer.
I wonder whether you feel talking things through would help? We have a Support Line (number below) and they can have a look in your local area to see if there is anything available. I found with my own journey and also my Mum's journey- that grief is a long process and it really does help to talk things through and process everything. Although you have a big family around you it can sometimes be easier to talk to people who do not know you personally. Sometimes with people close to you, you can worry about upsetting them, especially when they are also grieving.
Cruse is also really good. Home - Cruse Bereavement Support
I think with cancer in the family it means that you can also worry about getting it yourself- its because you have seen it and been on the journey with your Dad - it just sort of brings it home- it can and does happen to anyone. I think being cancer aware is a good plan and if you notice any worrying symptoms or have any particular concerns- do talk to your GP. If you do become ill (with anything- not just cancer) then to catch it early is the best scenario. Also take part in any screening offered- these things can also pick up any issues earlier. And I know personally- after my own cancer- I have looked at my own lifestyle and tried to make healthy changes. You can't take away all the risks but by trying to be as healthy as possible and by going straight to your GP with any worries will help you feel more in control.
I can understand you worrying about hair loss. But it is important I think to get this into perspective. Yes, with some cancer treatments you can lose your hair but with many you don't. It is normally with specific chemotherapy that this can happen. Not all cancer needs chemotherapy. It is possible to lose hair in the area treated with radiotherapy and some treatments can cause thinning. Different cancers have different treatments, there are different stages and grades- not everyone with cancer will lose all their hair. I think for some people losing their hair is their first thought when being told they need chemo. I think also it is a visible sign of cancer and that it why a lot of people do worry about it. I know myself although I knew I was ill, I didn't want to look ill.
I had chemotherapy myself and kept most of my hair because I was able to use scalp cooling. This is available for some regimes and cancers.
I hope this helps a bit. It is very normal though to feel as you do after losing someone to cancer. I do think talking things through may help.
If there is anything else you need, please do ask.
Jane
Hi Nannasgirl,
You can email via this link.
Email the Macmillan Support Line - Macmillan Cancer Support
There is also an online chat option that I have personally used and found helpful.
Chat online | Macmillan Cancer Support
The email version takes a couple of days but the online chat would normally get a response within around 10 minutes.
If there is anything else that you need, please do ask.
Jane
