More bad news - How to deal with it?

Bless your heart I'm so sorry you are facing this at 20. You are doing the right thing by looking for support on here where you can be totally honest about your greatest fears. My only advice to you is try to have quality time together and look for the humour in situations, don't be scared to laugh and find little bits of joy amongst the pain and fear. 

Just be yourself and don't hide your feelings from him but also don't grieve too soon this is precious time. Don't wait too long to take time off work have it while he is still your Dad, get signed off by your GP if you need too because you will never get this tine again. Do what you need for you to be ok. 

Sending love and strength.

Dear Molly, I'm going through the same with my Dad and it's been like a living nightmare for the past year. I think all you can do is love him, because the only time we have is now. I've no advice on grieving, because I think in this situation you grieve twice and we all cope in different ways. I hope it gives you a little strength to know you're not alone.  Take time for yourself when you need to and try not to beat yourself up mentally, it's hard I know, but they need us.  I'm sending you love and thank you for posting because your sharing has helped me xxx

I’m glad that I’ve helped you realise you’re not alone in some way, thank you for your kind words it honestly does mean a lot. Take care of yourself too, I’m so sorry we are going through similar situations as I know the pain all too well. Lots of love xx

Thank you so much. Surprisingly, my dad is still working. The doctors are very shocked with his health and stamina considering how severe the cancer is now. He still goes everyday, for 8 hours. Except for treatment days of course. So, when it comes to having time off from work for me, there won’t be any point as he is working all week anyway. Besides, I think my mother would get pretty upset if I took time off from my job. I don’t think she wants to do anything like that until it’s been confirmed that he hasn’t got much time left which is fair enough. I’m the only family member looking into the future right now which is both a blessing and a curse.

thank you for your kind words, I wouldn’t wish my greatest enemy to go through what I’m going through right now. I’m really glad I can come here and talk on this forum, in fact it was my sister who showed it to me. Once again, thank you for your words and I will take them into account xx

Hi Molly123, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It's amazing he's still working! I can relate to how you feel, my dad has terminal bowel cancer and his prognosis is "months rather than years". It's been 11 months now, I'm so grateful he's still here. But like you, I'm the family member who looks ahead. I'm always thinking about the future and stressing myself out. I'm living under constant fear and anxiety of losing my dad. I'm sure all this emotional stress isn't good for my health. I don't have any advice to give cos I'm still trying figure out how to manage my emotions. I've had OK days, peaceful days, emotionally overwhelming days...just let the emotions come and go. I think I've learnt to take it a day at a time and I keep on reminding myself that each day is a blessing, my dad is still here. It's an emotional roller coaster. I think my dad is slowly in decline, he is starting to feel some pain. There's always something to worry about! I've started a meditation course and that has helped me to calm down a little bit. I've also been listening to podcasts/YouTube videos about grief to mentally prepare myself and this topic seems less scary. It's my personality, looking ahead and preparing for the worse. My mum handles it by not thinking to much. We all deal with things differently, but the most important thing is to look after yourself. I went through a phase of insomnia, then I had to work and I went my parents house everyday, I ended up catching a bad cold  and had to stay away from my parents house for a week. 

My dad is a mentally strong person, he's taking it at his stride but he gets into a bad mood when he's in pain. I've learnt to navigate my dad's bad moods. I hope your dad is doing ok emotionally. Each family is different, my family doesn't like talking about emotions, so I can't talk to them about how I feel. I'm so grateful for this forum! 

Sending you love and strength x

Ps. If you want someone to talk to, the Macmillian helpline is so helpful,  I called several times when my dad was in hospital.