Overwhelmed

Hello gggirl88

I am really sorry that you are having to deal with all of this.

I am sorry to hear that Mum had lung cancer and passed away last month. It is such early days after losing your Mum and your emotions, I would think must be all over the place. Then to have worries with Dad now, it must feel just too much. I hope that Dad has gone to the doctor to be checked out? Although it may be a symptom that might lead to a diagnosis, I think at this time, try to hold on to the fact that there may indeed be other causes. But to get checked out, certainly is advisable. 

It must have been very hard to have your partner go through bowel cancer at such a young age. I hope that he is well now and has no lingering effects.

You say that you feel that you are making it about yourself when you are not the person that is ill, I don't think you are. What you are feeling, I believe, is very natural- your family have been affected by cancer twice, you have recently lost your Mum and now are worried about Dad. Anger is a normal response and completely understandable. 

You have mentioned struggling with your mental health- are you having any support with this? If not, then please do talk to your GP- what you are experiencing at the moment with all that is going on it is natural to need a little extra support.

Please do consider giving the Support Line a call if you feel talking things through would help. Sometimes just sharing with someone else that understands can stop the thoughts spiralling. They would also be able to have a look for you to see if there is anything else in your local areas where you could get some support. The number is at the bottom of this and they are really lovely on there.

I hope this helps a bit. Please do use the forum as much as you need. Sometimes writing things down can help. In the meantime if there is anything else you need, then please do ask. 

Jane

Thank you for your reply, Jane! He has gone to the hospital in the meantime and it’s looking like he has an ulcer. I’m still worried, my mind is still spiralling (what if it’s both?!), but I have calmed down somewhat. I am trying to accept that what I feel is normal, given all we’ve been through.

I have been seeing a therapist for around a year now, so I have been getting support. I’m also on an antidepressant which I started taking when my mum was diagnosed. Otherwise, these feelings would probably have been even stronger.

I thought I was handling my mum’s death better than I expected, until this happened and I realised my emotions are all over the place. Such hard times.

What you are feeling is indeed very normal. 

Fingers crossed it is an ulcer. 

Am glad that you have been seeing a therapist and have medication that is helping. I think sometimes you can feel like you are coping ok and then one extra worry is the straw that broke the camels back. You have recently lost your Mum and it is not surprising that it all built up and added to the pressure when you had worries about Dad. 

I think that the thing is you recognise when you need support and reached out- so well done. You have your therapist, have prescribed medication and you are doing what you need to do. Do not be afraid to share your feelings on here. And if talking to someone outside the family would help then please do give the Support Line a call. There is also an option to email Macmillan or do online chat if it is something you prefer. 

I actually did an online chat with one of the nurses on here a couple of months ago, just before a check up appointment and felt so much better afterwards. 

We have another forum on here that may be helpful. Having a bereavement is really hard and sharing with others may help. I will pop a link below for you in case it is something you want to have a look at. Cruse is also a very good source of support.

(+) Bereaved family and friends forum | Macmillan Online Community

Home - Cruse Bereavement Support

Hope this helps a bit

Jane

My dad had a heart attack yesterday and passed away. Thanks for your support, Jane, I’ll definitely make use of these resources now. Losing both parents in the space of 2 months is utter hell. At least I don’t have to worry about them anymore, heck.

I am so sorry to hear that. Am thinking of you. If there is anything you need, please do ask

Jane