I feel angry and useless

Hi SerSer 

Thank you for coming to us - hopefully you will agreed you made a great choice so clearly you failed the "being useless" charge.

Going through diagnosis to treatment is hard - many find it about the hardest part of the journey. Watching someone we love go through this is often must more difficult than anyone expects after all "It is not me with the cancer".

If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer we can see how these feelings are all really normal - well in the "normal" world we now live in. 

I know I am a planner - I like to know what is going to happen next, next week, next month and uncertainty is hard to cope with. Trouble is I do not actually know because tomorrow will no doubt hold some new surprise. Life seems to love throwing us a curveball and somehow we have to learn how to cope with these surprises.

I hope you choose to share the next steps in your journey because I am sure many will feel less alone reading the words you shared with us on here.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thanks for this Steve. I'm a planner too and like to know what's happening. 

Fingers crossed I can share some progress soon

How can I make my husband understand he needs to eat so he's strong enough to have treatment? He's in pain and has constant headache so I understand why he wouldn't want to eat but he's losing more weight and tells me I'm nagging him.

He has Co-codamol for the pain and we've got fortisip from the doctor but he doesn't like them. I've told him the only alternative is to eat but we go round in circles and, although I know it's not his fault, I'm getting frustrated and snappy with him

Hi SerSer 

Sorry to read this, it is a very common struggle between carer and patient and sometimes the one we love can feel the only thing they can control in their life is what they eat. Perhaps the only way to "win" is to choose not to play.

Some of the drinks the doctor prescribed Janice did not mind, others she said tasted horrible.

Of course at the end of the day perhaps the only option might be treatment in the hospital - often not a choice many want.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thanks Steve. I'll speak to the doctor on Monday and see if they can prescribe anything else to try 

Hi - My partner has been diagnosed with liver cancer.  He had lost half a stone suddenly.  He's been prescribed Fortisips and you can request which flavours you prefer.  So now we have a mountain of strawberry and chocolate Fortisips.  He's drinking about 3 a day, which is 300 calories per drink.  I try and get inventive and start cooking something to get his taste buds going, I cooked spanish omlette the other day, with the aroma of the onions cooking  and by the time it was ready he was interested.  It doesn't seem to work if I tell him he must eat.  I think that makes the situation worse in our case... so now I've gone undercover. Lol! And cook stuff I know he'll want to eat... if that makes sense.  Hope you get some resolution x

Thanks Taztib  We couldn't get chocolate flavour and we tried the other flavours but he couldn't drink them. 

We've had some movement today. We've got a diagnosis of Lymphoma, no other cancers (we were told it could be 2 types). Because he's lost so much weight they're keeping my husband in hospital to get him strong enough for chemotherapy.

We're just glad something is now happening.