My mum has stage 4 lung cancer. She’s been through a lot and today I’ve been told the end is near. I am going to fly tomorrow to where she is. I cannot explain how much I am dreading it. I don’t want to see her suffer, I don’t want to see her die, I don’t want to have images of her ill in my mind. I’d rather remember her healthy. Has anyone not been to the death bed of a loved one even though they were nearby? I really don’t know how I’m going to cope with that and I’m terrified.
Hi gggirl8
Sorry to hear about your mum, I can certainly understand how you would feel and it can be difficult for people to see past the end of life and remember the rest of life.
When I got "the call" about my dad I drove down but he died about 30 minutes before I got there. When we went it to his room he was tucked up nicely in bed and just looked calm and asleep - something we had not seen in several years. My mum died out of the blue one night and by the time I got there she was already in the mortuary and while they had done a marvellous job of make up is was not really her.
Which is easier - no idea even now 10 years later. What I do know though it I have many years of very good memories of them both and the pain at the end has faded. I still miss them though but think how proud they would be to see me now.
<<hugs>>
Steve
I am sorry to hear about your mum, i really am. Its such a deliberating illness and your mamma is the last person you think will get it. I know your pain too well.
My Mum passed away 2 months ago at 61 of lung cancer that had spread to a few places. From diagnosis to her death was 11 weeks. I was with her everyday of that 11 weeks, hospital visits, home visits, appointments, helping her shower, cooking for her, keeping her company, I was also there the day she passed in hospital. 10 of our closest family were. It was awful to watch her die and take her last breaths but immediately after her last breath her whole face changed. She looked at peace relaxed and asleep, after 11 weeks of watching her in pain it was strangley nice to see. I can't get it out of my head but she wasn't in pain on the day because she was on a syringe driver for morphine and they gave her injections for agitation.
Its not something you will ever forget but the happy memorys will start taking over. I'm glad I was there to hold her hand, tell her it was OK to let go tell her I love her. The hearing is the last thing to go so we all was repeatedly telling her we love her, thankyou for been the best mum and telling her we was there.
I then went to see her twice in the chapel of rest, she did look different from when I left her in the hospital but I didn't care it was still my mamma and it gave me peace seeing her resting so peacefully in the dress I chose ( which was the one she wore for my wedding 2 years ago)
Only you can make the choice but I definitely don't regret been there with my mum, she brought me into this world I wanted to be there when she left it.
Thinking about you at this devastating time. 
