Hi, I’m new to this. My brother has had surgery for mouth cancer and is now receiving chemo and radiotherapy. Close family are supporting him and his wife on a sort of rota basis, I was there recently. I found it incredibly difficult to see him suffering awful side effects from his treatment - nasty mouth ulcers that are very painful making eating uncomfortable. He and his wife have contacts for various medics who are supportive. I thought I was coping but did succumb to tears (in private) when I was last with them. It’s very hard to leave when I come home as he gets very emotional. Lots of anxiety and mixed feelings, I find myself becoming incredibly protective of him and sometimes impatient with others, feeling useless and constantly thinking of ways to help him through his treatment. Wondering if anyone here has experienced similar or is supporting someone with mouth cancer. Thank you.
Hi LizyT
My wife has Leiomyosarcoma - so a very different form of cancer to your brother. He was diagnosed about 10 years ago so very much not new to this - but once I was.
If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer I know I recognize a lot of what I went through. Crying is a very normal reaction - I used to do it in the shower so nobody would notice. I am sure your brother would understand - indeed in my years on here I have heard patients say their loved ones never show emotion so clearly do not care - there really is a no win situation in that.
One thing I used to cope with seeing the side effects was considering if most of Janice felt like this how must the cancer cells feel. In her case the first chemo caused some side effects that meant it had to be stopped. When things were more back to normal they tried a different chemo regime and it put her cancer to sleep - 8 years now of no progression. Her oncologist is now saying that he is happy to discharge her back to GP care since there is little point bringing her to the hospital just to find out she is keeping well.
I glad to hear they have good contacts in the medics, that supportive team are really positive and it sounds like he has a really strong family team too.
Whatever you need do feel free to post on here or in Carers only forum and someone will always be there for you too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
