6 weeks ago my dad went up to his office and when he was coming down the stairs he collapsed clutching his chest and saying he had pain in his arm. I put him in recovery and called 999, he then spent 3 days on a trolley in A and E as there were no beds. when I finally managed to get straight answers from the staff and the hospital they told me the chest pain had been a blood clot, caused by covid, but they were running further tests. But didn’t tell me fear they were.
when they went and dad had been taken for a scan I looked at his medical notes. (I work in special needs and disabilities and am first aid trained so could get the just) it said he had been placed under urology.
I then went to the nurses station and asked. They said they couldn’t tell me without dads permission. When dad returned from tests I went back and called her over, she confirmed they had found prostate cancer, and were testing to see what lever we were at. 3 weeks later we started hormone therapy as they told us things looked positive. 2 days ago we were told they were wrong and his prostate cancer is in his lymph nodes, his bones and has spread all the way up his spine making it no longer treatable.
he is self employed and so me and mum taken over financial control of the house to keep the roof over out heads. Working extra hours and still not even covering the bills, all the time worrying about not being able to spend as much time with dad as I want to, scared that I will be at work when it happens and I’ll be letting him down when he needs me most. I’m doing all I can for my dad as well as being my mums emotional support My mental health is suffering and I aren’t getting responses from my doctors.
im feeling pretty lost and alone.
Hi @bexx1990,
So sorry to read about your dad and everything you have been through with him. I wonder if our pages on advanced prostrate cancer might be helpful - see here . I note that it says that while it might not be curable that it might be controlled. My wife's cancer is very different but her cancer has been controlled such that we are living with cancer rather than dying from cancer - 6 years and counting now.
For you it might be helpful to look at Supporting a family member with cancer. I know I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me - before I had been imagining life without my wife and not enjoying the time I had with her.
Do post on here whenever because together we are never alone.
<<hugs>>
Steve
