I first posted here when my Mum was being diagnosed with lung cancer. We're roughly six months on now and I'm struggling.
She had chemo and immunotherapy - she's done amazingly well having six sessions in total. More were planned but other complications meant number five made her very ill. She went for number six and ended up very poorly in hospital a week later. The team at the hospital have been amazing and they've all agreed that she's reached the limit of what her body can cope with chemo-related.
There's a scan coming up and an appointment to discuss what happens next. I thought there would be other treatment options available and that's what they'd be discussing, but now I'm not so sure. Mum mentioned that Dad is worried she'll be moved to palliative care and it's this that's tipped me over the edge.
I'm not ready for this. My Mum's positivity (she's really been amazing) and the treatment plan that was in place gave me some hope that we'd have more time. Although the initial prognosis was 12 months, she was aiming for years with several milestones (birthdays and anniversaries) that she wants to see.
Because she's been so poorly, I didn't want to intrude and visit, but I kind of forced it this weekend just gone and I'm glad I did because we sat out in the sunshine watching my daft labradors playing and had some lunch and put the world to rights with general chit chat and daftness.
I know people do amazing things and that a prognosis is just an average based on what they know about other similar cases, but I have so many what ifs running through my mind at the moment. I hate this disease, I hate what it does to people and their families.
Hi Nikita_UK
Sorry to hear about your mum, though your description of your visit last weekend sounds really great.
When I first heard the term palliative care I thought it meant the end, really though it is about controlling symptoms rather than trying for cure.
Scan's are always a bit of a worry for everyone - we even have a bet name scanxiety.
What really helped me was a living with less stress course - if helped me realise I could come up with "what if's" to my hearts content but it I was much better at imagining trouble's than I was good news. I was also taught breathing exercises that helped me cope with the unexpected and also was useful in helping me relax.
<<hugs>>
Steve
