Hi, My gran has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer that has returned after 20 years. She is going to undergo a mastectomy and treatment in the next month. This has been hard for the whole family to receive but particularly hard as my mother went through very rigorous cancer treatment a few years back that has caused trauma for us all. She went through stage 4 throat and lung cancer which involved years of inpatient treatment and a lot of heart ache. Thankfully she is in remission now but it has brought a lot back for myself and my dad. We were my mums primary carers through it all and for those few years life was on hold as we battled through as best we could. When it was all over it was almost like we were afraid to talk about it, which has resulted in a lot of repressed emotions.
Now that my gran is about to face it all again we are all terrified and it is almost as though we are bracing for impact. My gran has brought up my mum a few times and discussed how she doesn't have the same strength as she did, which I hate hearing and I'm not too sure what to do/say.
When my mum went through treatment, these forums were one of the few safe places I had to talk about it all so if anyone has any advice on how to cope with reopening the trauma of being a family member of someone going through cancer it would be much appreciated.
Hi untitled123
So sorry to read about everything your family has been through, it can be extra hard when cancer returns and add to the mix comparing cancers and health between mum and gran can make things extra difficult.
I know I find talking about my wife's cancer can be quite helpful but it is often not a "polite" conversation in the coffee shop. When Janice was really ill we had lots of friends who would try to close he conversation down with things like "she will be fine" or "she is so strong" but they did not really help me.
The big thing we share on here is that it is tough and talking about our emotions can be challenging but it can also be very helpful. Remember too if we want we can ring the helpline for an instant fix.
<<hugs>>
Steve
