My father was diagnosed with cancer many years ago, it was tricky but over time I adapted. However, recently it has brought me great uncertainty, almost like it is a ticking time bomb. I am constantly terrified I am going to lose him, he is a huge part of my life. I currently live away from him and imagining my life/planning for the future is so difficult because I fear he won’t be in it. I fee I should move back closer to home to spend all the time with him I can even though he may live many more years. Any advice on how to cope with these feelings and worries?
Hi
Uncertainty is a part of life we all have to deal with and a cancer diagnosis often brings those fears to the front of our minds.
I ended up doing a living with less stress course and as part of that I realised I was planning how I would cope with life without my wife when she was still beside me and it helped to make me really miserable. Sometimes on here people talk about pre-grief and I certainly relate to that. One bizzare thing that helped me was the people who died in the collapse of Didcot power station - I came to realise things might be different to my "model" and that actually I could die first - anyone seeing my driving might think sooner rather than later.
It did really help me to talk through these worries and get to the point where we both enjoy every day we have - it has actually helped to draw my wife and I closer than ever because now we recognize we both need help - it's hard but talking helps.
<<hugs>>
Steve
