My father has AML. He was given 1-2 years nearly 2 years ago. We have nearly lost him a few times now but luckily and miraculously haven’t. Recently he has got worse and it’s playing with my mind. I suffer from anxiety and depression and have for many years. I can normally just keep my head and not fall apart.
Recently I have been having bad dreams that my father is in his last moments and is dying or that he has died. Last night the dream was that he was rushed to hospital and was unlikely to make it through the night but he rallied and my mother set off to the hospital before he was given more treatment but in that time I received a call saying things had changed and unfortunately he had just passed away. Obviously I know it’s just a dream. I’m lucky he’s still here and it’s not true yet, however they are really shaking me to the core and I’m struggling to cope as I’m getting flashbacks to that moment in the dream causing me to fall apart numerous times a day. Unfortunately trying to justify it as just a dream each time is hard as it really is going to happen in the not to distant future. I feel I’m trying to prepare myself as much as possible to deal with that at the time and having lost other family to cancer I know I will but for these dreams to keep repeating is torture. This is what I’m struggling to deal with right now and I don’t know what to do about it. Has anyone any advice please? Thanks in advance.
Hi
Sorry to read about what you are going through, it does sound easy to say "it was only a dream" but the reality is there when we wake up too. That prognosis can seem to hang over everything too.
As part of a living with less stress course I did I was taught some conscious breathing techniques, I find they can really help me when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed - usually when something pretty unexpected comes to hit us. It does often help to talk or even type on here - it is hard, people at work call me an inspiration - that does not really help!
<<hugs>>
Steve
