Last October my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer that had spread to his lungs and hip bone. He was told it was treatable but incurable. I expect him to gradually get worse but its hard seeing him like this. He is in a lot of pain, is constipated and has trouble going to the toilet, has nausea and vomiting, bleeding Gums, trouble sleeping and he's taste buds have changed. He has lost a lot of weight and is depressed. He says he isn't ready to go yet but the past week he seems to have got worse. He had to go up to A&E last weekend because the pain was unbearable and since then he has been prescribed Zapain but he is still in pain and very sleepy. He has gone from one extreme (not sleeping) to sleeping all of the time. He has a consultant appointment soon and can't help but think it will be bad news. Dreading it. I don't know how to help him. I have already lost my mum this year due to respiratory failure.. I can't bear it if I lose him too.
Hi @gem_l and welcome to the community though sorry to hear about your dad.
I know when my wife was first diagnosed I had difficult coping with it and did a lot of thinking about how will I cope without her. I was certainly good at looking for signs and making worst case guesses - most of which failed to come true.
Chronic pain is very difficult and it can help to get the medication just right; some of the side effects can be worse than the pain but changes can often help to find some kind of balance.
One of the things I learnt a bit the hard way was learning to look after myself, I we look at Supporting a family member with cancer we see how common these emotions really are.
<<hugs>>
Steve
