Feeling sad but try not to show it

Thank you so much... I see sunflower mention about setting up maybe a whats app group... Its strange as life as u kno can feel its all been tipped upside down and inside out... For me I can be fine and make plans for later same day and its like out of nowhere the weight of the world is sat on my shoulders and mental exhaustion smothers me and I have to cancel.. I've never been someone who second guesses but even replying to you or couple of others I worry that I'm shouldn't as maybe it's a relatives group or different type of cancer... But I have been the relative and now I'm the patient so to speak.. But I find it helps as I have children so can see how it may affect them or my mum, or help by seeing someone else tells their children and obviously how others like u feel can't speak to friends as they jus don't get it.. I think only someone who gone thru similar experiences can truly identify.. I jus identified with you especially regarding friends but the difficulties dealing with kids... Not knowing how or how much to tell them as I kno for me I don't want them to feel any horrible emotions or sense of loss... I jus want to shield them and let them enjoy as much time as possible and maintain sense of immortality that the young have and joy of life... I'm so glad for being able to speak on here.. Even though I'm techn phone and don't really kno wot I'm doing.. Lol.. Night and hope you can enjoy those happy moments and the hard dark ones don't succeed and stop u from seeing x

Hey 

thanks and you sounds awesome 

I really think we should be able to have access to some sort of a company when we need it far more quicker and efficiently.

it’s such a drainage of emotions to hold everything inside knowing u don’t get anything but frustration by expressing it to people who have no idea what we are talking about:

cheers

Sunflower sorry for late reply but u kno it be fine as I'm sure maybe we can arrange a time and day that we can chat on here and maybe ask if mum247 is about etc so we are then able to build up little routine and also anyone else who sees our chats can join in.. Although I have mother here and sons they all live far and its been very difficult to travel and see them... During covid was over a year and I had to move but my support wasn't allowed to visit.. Hospital appointments sometime became jus a phone call.. Times are and can still be very difficult.. So I totally get how isolating and hard it is when you have close by to sit and jus have a coffee or heh it lucky a glass of wine lol... I hope that we can maybe chat more and if you message I will always reply but til we can work out good time to chat and where we have hospital appointments fatigue or simply jus wanting to shut out world and don't want to spk to anyone.. We will all find a way forward or hopefully if can't someone on here will message like we have to help... Nite and sweet dreams x

Stay strong sunflower... Or maybe I will call you petal? ️ nite

Hey thanks . Awesome . 

My partner also has oesophageal cancer and it’s been one hell of a journey but never feel bad about feeling like that because I also lost a parent this year to cancer so hearing everyone saying it was going to be okay before it was confirmed drove me absolutely insane too. You’re not on your own and I’d like you to know if you want to talk to someone that understands what your going through I am here x

Aw thank you for messaging me . I am so  sorry for your loss xx 

My husband came out of hospital yesterday after a 10 day stay to rehydrate and intravenous feed him, he also had the feeding tube fitted  . It was our first night  doing his feed  ,omg that was nearve racking but we got there in the end . 

How is your partner doing ? 

We have all the chemo to come yet  . People don't understand unless they have been there just how bad it can make you feel xx  

Xx j

Damn it .. I guess thats where I am heading in future. You guys are awesome and inspiring. My husband has been smooth so far. Very weak and he got these scary coughs . They are long and often often remind me of lung tumour causing them. 
 Yeah people got no idea what we are going through. 
but I don’t blame them. 
sometimes I don’t understand what I am going through. Just feel emotionally exhausted. But my love to my husband will not change a bit no matter how emotionally exhausted I am . 

I would love to talk to u . I guess Mum247 would love that too depends on her scenario.